Stretching

I rarely think of myself as a leader. It’s not that I think I’m much of a follower. I’ve always had too much of an independent streak for that. There, I think, lies the reason why I don’t usually see myself as a leader—too much independence. I like and am pretty good at working alone.  A plus for a Creative Writing major like myself. When it comes to school group projects—well, I must admit I groan a little, and while I do sometimes take charge, I rarely think of that as anything more than doing what I have to do to get things done. My natural inclination isn't usually to go after a leadership role.   

This year, though, I have a chance to be an actual leader.

I am a member of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, one of our Christian groups on campus, and I am now on our leadership board. I’m working with another student to organize our large group gatherings that happen every Thursday night. This involves a lot of planning, getting in contact with people, organizing, etc.

Tonight is the first large group meeting that I’ve had a part in planning, and I must admit I’m a little nervous. After a semester that was fairly care free when i was abroad (only three classes, little extracurricular responsibility, tons of free time), it’s a bit overwhelming to begin a new role with new responsibilities, especially since I feel very passionately about this group. I want to give them my best work.

Overall, though, I feel like my worries will be calmed once the event tonight happens. The first large group meeting may or may not run as smoothly as I hope it will, but it will happen, nonetheless. What needs to be done will get done, and I will know that can happen again, the next week and then all the week after that.  

And I will be stretched, just a bit, away from who I saw myself as when I entered college and towards the person who I can be. The leader that I may not have anticipated becoming back when I was in high school.

I suppose that’s one of the wonders of college: being stretched into someone that can offer a bit more than what you expected. In high school, I think a lot of people thought of me as a smart girl who writes a lot, and I thought of myself that way too. While I still hope that people think I’m smart, and while I do still love writing, college also seems like it’s been a time of expanding, both in terms of my identity and the possibilities that I see for myself.

Perhaps I'll really discover my inner-leader this semester at Susquehanna. Who knows what I may discover next?