A Final Retreat

It’s April—which is a significant fact because that means May (the month of my college graduation) is next month! The month is very busy even after graduation. The same day I graduate, I’ll be heading to camp with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in New York for a few days of reading the Bible and focusing on God. Then I’ll be home for a day or two before I head off for a Disney World vacation with a group of my senior friends. Again, I’ll come home for about a day or two before heading off for a job at summer camp. Life is certainly going forward at full-speed.

It’s nice, in all this forward motion, to get some time to relax and reflect. On the weekend of March 21^st to the 23^rd, I was able to do just that through Susquehanna’s Christian Fellowship Retreat at Mountain Dale Farm. Every semester, Susquehanna’s Deacon of Spiritual Nurture organizes a retreat for students. I have been attending these retreats since my freshman year and have valued the time to escape campus for a while, bond with other students, and grow spiritually.

This semester, we reflected on what it means to be spiritually awake or spiritually asleep. Being “spiritually asleep” might mean only going through the motions of your faith or generally being apathetic. To me, being awake means being an active participant in one’s relationship with God. I personally felt woken up by the weekend. I had been more engaged in reading my Bible there than I had been for quite some time, which was an awesome feeling.

Though the retreat was great, it was definitely bittersweet. I’ve become attached to the drive there through middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania, to Mountain Dale Farm, to the deer heads mounted on the walls and the mismatched couches in the room place we call “The Room of Death,” to candles in a cross formation in the middle of the floor during worship, to games like Catchphrase, to intimidating geese, to lazily sprawling out on the couches during free time, to talking through life with a prayer partner, and most of all, to the great people that come each semester. The last night of the retreat was one of those times where graduating really hit me. It was the last of something important to my college experience—and I knew a lot more lasts were on their way.

That night, the senior girls all decided to sleep over on the couches in the “Room of Death” instead of going to our cabin. When I was an underclassman and not all the girls could fit in the  cabin, upperclassmen girls often ended up sleeping over in that room. None of us had ever done it, so we took our chance. I don’t think any of us got great sleep, but it was worth it for that memory that felt so college—a bunch of girls sprawled out on couches pushed into a circle, chatting and reminiscing in the dark as we curled up underneath our blankets and sleeping bags.  

My friends and I hope to go back to Mountain Dale one day for a reunion of sorts, but if that never comes to fruition, I had a great final retreat that I’d be happy to call my last Mountain Dale memory.

Spring Training

This past weekend, I had an opportunity to go off-campus for a conference through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. This conference was called Spring Training. It was focused on Christian leadership and held at Lehigh University, which is in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and is around two hours away. 

We left Susquehanna a little after noon on Saturday morning in two cars. They were packed with sleeping bags, pillows and backpacks since we were staying overnight with students at Lehigh. I was excited about this prospect. My freshman and sophomore years, the InterVarsity Spring conferences were held at Susquehanna and Bucknell respectively. That first year I hosted a Penn State student in my room, and the next year Bucknell was close enough that we could just leave at night and come back in the morning. I was looking forward to being the person who was hosted for the first time—though I wasn’t looking forward to a night sleeping on the floor.

When the car of Susquehanna girls I was in drove onto the Lehigh campus, I think all of us were enamored with how gorgeous the campus was. It had lots of trees, a high vantage point to look down at the city below, and plenty of buildings that could inspire Hogwarts comparisons. Besides being pretty, the most noticeable thing about the campus was how hilly it was. It inspired some gratitude for the relative flatness of Susquehanna’s campus, even as we were fawning over some of Lehigh’s buildings.

At the top level of the parking garage, some Lehigh students met us and lead us to the university center, where the conference was held. There were students from many different colleges there, including Lehigh, Susquehanna, Bucknell and Bloomsburg. The conference started with all of us gathered together for worship and a talk from one of InterVarsity’s staff leaders. We then split into “tracks”—or smaller groups—to study Scripture. That day we looked at the passage in the gospel of John where Jesus washes the disciples’ feet.

One of the best things about a conference like this is getting to hear from and hang out with people from other colleges. Dinner that night was really nice because we were able to join some Bucknell students and one Lehigh student. Normally at these types of conferences, I feel like I stick pretty closely to my fellow Susquehannans, but this conference really made me want to get to know students from other schools (a difficult task for a short, weekend conference, though). At the end of the school year, I’m planning on attending Chapter Camp through InterVarsity, which is a week-long camp at Lake Champion in New York. I am hoping to make more of an effort when I’m there this year to connect with students from other colleges.

After dinner, we continued with Scripture study until around 9 p.m. Then we found our hosts. My friend Annie and I were both staying with the same girl, Diana. She was a senior and an RA in a freshman dorm. She was very welcoming and enthusiastic about having us stay with her. We were especially lucky because Diana had a futon for us to sleep on rather than the floor!

We didn’t head straight to bed, however. Lehigh has a hang-out place on campus called the Hawk’s Nest where many people attending the conference went after dropping their things off in their hosts' rooms. I got to play air hockey, which I love, and watch some musical performances. I also participated disastrously in a game of pool. Later in the night, I got to hang out with more people from other schools when a group played a game called Mafia.

The next morning, we returned to studying the Bible, but this time it was a passage from the epistle Philippians. Looking at both of the texts, we were able to reflect on what leadership means and looks like in a Christian context. It was interesting to compare that to the qualities we associated with leadership on our campuses. It was also interesting to hear about the different campus cultures and how they varied in what makes a leader and what gives you status. The day ended with large group worship, praying for seniors, and praying in partners before we all headed back to our separate schools.

The weekend certainly felt like it ended too soon. The week that has followed has been a bit frazzled since I’ve returned, but thankfully, tomorrow is Spring Break! I am excited to head home and relax for a while before diving into the second half of the semester.  

Stretching

I rarely think of myself as a leader. It’s not that I think I’m much of a follower. I’ve always had too much of an independent streak for that. There, I think, lies the reason why I don’t usually see myself as a leader—too much independence. I like and am pretty good at working alone.  A plus for a Creative Writing major like myself. When it comes to school group projects—well, I must admit I groan a little, and while I do sometimes take charge, I rarely think of that as anything more than doing what I have to do to get things done. My natural inclination isn't usually to go after a leadership role.   

This year, though, I have a chance to be an actual leader.

I am a member of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, one of our Christian groups on campus, and I am now on our leadership board. I’m working with another student to organize our large group gatherings that happen every Thursday night. This involves a lot of planning, getting in contact with people, organizing, etc.

Tonight is the first large group meeting that I’ve had a part in planning, and I must admit I’m a little nervous. After a semester that was fairly care free when i was abroad (only three classes, little extracurricular responsibility, tons of free time), it’s a bit overwhelming to begin a new role with new responsibilities, especially since I feel very passionately about this group. I want to give them my best work.

Overall, though, I feel like my worries will be calmed once the event tonight happens. The first large group meeting may or may not run as smoothly as I hope it will, but it will happen, nonetheless. What needs to be done will get done, and I will know that can happen again, the next week and then all the week after that.  

And I will be stretched, just a bit, away from who I saw myself as when I entered college and towards the person who I can be. The leader that I may not have anticipated becoming back when I was in high school.

I suppose that’s one of the wonders of college: being stretched into someone that can offer a bit more than what you expected. In high school, I think a lot of people thought of me as a smart girl who writes a lot, and I thought of myself that way too. While I still hope that people think I’m smart, and while I do still love writing, college also seems like it’s been a time of expanding, both in terms of my identity and the possibilities that I see for myself.

Perhaps I'll really discover my inner-leader this semester at Susquehanna. Who knows what I may discover next?

What I've Learned My Sophomore Year

College is supposed to be a time for learning, self discovery, etc. Though it will always sound cliche to talk about what you learned about yourself and life at college, I think there's a lot of truth to that. I tried to reflect on some of the things that I have learned this year. This is by no means an extensive list but is, at least, a little glimpse of what I've been discovering this year.

• Having a single is not the worst thing ever. It’s actually kind of nice. At the beginning of the year, I struggled a lot with not having a roommate, but there really are some advantages to having a single.  You don’t have to worry about keeping someone up, for instance, when you want to stay up late. I’ll be having a single again next year. I’ll be switching single rooms with someone else when I come back from being abroad. I'm hoping to have a roommate senior year, but it may be a bit of an adjustment after living so long by myself!
  

• Academically, I have more interests than just creative writing! Coming into college, I assumed I was going to be an editor when I grew up, that I'd be an editing and publishing minor, that I would be deeply immersed in this department, that I'd be involved in editorial boards all the time, etc. After all, I'd always been the "writing girl" at school, and being well-rounded isn't really my strong suit. While Creative Writing is still very important to me, my involvement is not looking the way I had imagined it would at the beginning of freshman year, and it's not my only pursuit at this school.  My religion minor turned into a religion major this year, and I am so glad it did. I’ve really enjoyed studying Luther and the Reformation this semester, and I am looking forward to continuing my religious studies during the next two years.

• It’s actually true—you don’t have to live with people in order to maintain your friendships! This is something I believed all along, of course, but there was a certain level of nervousness and adjustment that came from living in the same dorm with all of my friends to having some of them live elsewhere. I’m happy to say that I feel like some of those friendships with people in my freshman residence hall  have even strengthened this year, without us living together! And I'm excited that I'll get to be living with them again next year (though that means not living with some other friends I've been with the past two years).

•  I like poetry. Writing it and reading it. I’ve always known that I liked poetry in a vague, I’ll-do-this-sometimes-for-fun-but-not-seriously way, but now I know that I like it in the way that I’d like to dedicate some time to writing it and actually becoming good. As for reading it, I have found that I love the poetry of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Sara Teasdale. I also like some poems by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I have a lot more reading to do on this front, though.

• Reflecting on the past two years, I think this year I've been a lot more comfortable with being outspoken. I’ve been a lot more willing to speak my mind in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship activities for instance, like Bible studies or large group discussions. I’ve also taken risks with talking to people I don’t know, through our spiritual survey questions called Soularium and an activity where we give out free cookies and iced tea or lemonade to people on Friday nights. I’ve also made some new friendships this year or bolstered ones that weren’t so strong last year. 

• To get a bit deeper, I’ve learned that progress does not always come in a straight, upward line. And that’s okay. Progress, in anything, will still involve bouts of struggle, backtracking, etc.

Drawing to a Close

The year really is drawing to a close. I'm excited for summer, but I have to admit, I'm not all too thrilled about this school year ending. Being halfway through my college experience is frankly terrifying. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to study abroad for a semester, but I'm also a little saddened about missing a semester with my friends here at SU (especially sad when I think about the juniors I know who I'll only get to see for one more semester). And this year it will be weirder to see people graduate than freshman year since I've actually had time to get to know some of them!

In spite of all that, some good things do come at the end of the semester.

This week I get to share some of my Scholars' House project at the large group meeting of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. My project, which was originally to complete a draft of a Christian YA novel, changed over the course of the year, as my creative focus, for some inexplicable reason, could not stay on novels and drifted towards poetry. I am now focusing on compiling a collection of writing that has to do with faith, which will include what I have of the novel and various poems.

I already shared some of the novel at the Undergraduate Literature and Creative Writing Conference. I'll be sharing poetry at the large group meeting this week. I'm especially excited that I'll be able to share this very personal writing on faith in the context of a discussion about faith--a very different context from that of the lit conference. The poetry is a large segment, but not the whole of my talk for Thursday. I will be sharing my writing in a talk about doubt, faith, honest expressions of both, and God's approach to human doubt in Scriptures. I'm very passionate about my subject matter and very pumped for this chance to present it!

This past weekend also provided plenty of fun though mostly of the busy variety. Last year I participated in an event called Lutheran Youth Day. I was able to do this again this year. Lutheran Youth Day brings middle and high school students from around the area to the Susquehanna campus for a day of worship and large group sessions and small group sessions looking at the Bible. I was a small group leader which meant I, with some other SU students, got to lead discussion and activities with these students. I had a small group of high schoolers--sophomores through seniors, I believe--who all seemed very mature, and we had some great and deep discussion! During Lutheran Youth Day, I also performed in an original skit with the organization Acts 29 about the batteries that fuel us in our everyday lives. Acts 29 is a ministry group that uses theater, puppets, etc. I've only very recently gotten involved with this group and was excited that my first performance with them went well. That Saturday I also got to play some frisbee in the rain and dance at a fake prom at TRAX!

I am hoping these last weekends will be filled with fun as well, though maybe, ideally, of the less busy variety. 

At Schools Not So Far Away

Last night, I went with some members of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship to Bucknell University for a talk and a Q&A with David Lamb, author of God Behaving Badly: Is the God of the Old Testament Angry, Sexist and Racist? and Old Testament scholar. He addressed some of the problematic texts in the Old Testament and our popular conceptions of God, as portrayed in the Old Testament. Then the room was opened up to questions. This was particularly interesting since people came into the talk with vastly different opinions about the Bible.

According to Mapquest, Bucknell is about 13 miles away. Its proximity is what allowed for such a short-notice trip. Our InterVarsity chapter didn't plan on going until the night before.

A few weeks ago, for my Introduction to Poetry course, we met at Bucknell to attend a poetry reading by Mark Doty. The class broke up into different cars, got oursevles there, attended the reading, and got back to Susquehanna all within, approximately, the normal timespan for our class.

These two times, I've only seen Bucknell in the dark, but I'll be able to see it in the light later this month. Bucknell will be hosting InterVarsity's Dig-In, a weekend-long conference that brigns together students from different colleges in the area to study Scripture. Last year Susquehanna hosted, which was super convenient for us. This is also convenient for Susquehanna students because, at the end of the day, we'll be able to return to our dorms rather than stay overnight with Bucknell host students, which is what students who come from farther distances will be doing.

Penn State is much farther away than Bucknell but it is still a reasonable distance for special trips. This semester, I went with a gorup of friends to a concert at Penn State's Bryce Jordan center called Witner Jam.

Visiting these colleges inspires some reflection on Susquehanna. Penn State, for instance, feels like an entirely different world. It's enormous and bustling and overwhelming, and I can't really imagine going there. Bucknell also seemed to have a different atmosphere than SU.

I know that other students and student groups sometimes visit these schools for concerts, readings, etc. It's not something I usually take advantage of since I don't have a car; in fact, these are the only three instances wehre I've been to other schools while at Susquehanna. Still, though there's plenty to do at Susquehanna, it's nice that there's the option to drop in on other colleges when there's special events that interest you. The best part is that after said events, at least if at Bucknell or Penn State, it's not too long before you're back to being cozy in your room at Susquehanna.

College Family

College is a home away from home. Any good home away from home requires a family away from family. People to support you emotionally, give you advice, help you grow--sure, the family can and probably should do all these things. But there's also the simple matters of having people to spend time with on the weekend or to go with to meals--the people who are consistent characters in chapters of our life (and we reciprocate in their storybooks as well.) Unlike my immediate family, which hasn't added new members since my birth, college families are more flexible. Dynamics can shift. New people can be taken into the fold. Those farther out on the limbs of the family tree can come closer and closer. The college family is a family that you have to actively pursue in friendship, a family that, often, it looks like you choose, even I think it's a matter of fortuitously falling into these right friendships--a blessing.

If you can't already tell, I feel as if I have family at college. Maybe even multiple families.

The campus organization closest to my heart, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, is an example of one of these families. I will not pretend that I know everybody in the organization super well, but many of my friendships have been found or developed through InterVarsity--including some of my best friends. Plus, there are always people in it to get to know better! I can liken it to an extended family, in some sense. Every week I have some time with this family--whether that's merely hanging out with friends from it, outside any structured activitise, getting together for our weekly large group meeting the Banquet (and then chilling after--usually for way too long, as my homework cries for attention in my room), or going to a small, Life Group where I can talk about the Bible or simply my life with fewer people. Just this weekend, InterVarsity had its annual Lock In, which is basically just a big hang-out session until everyone decides to go to bed. From around 6:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m, I hung out with InterVarsity friends, playing games, talking, etc. It was so much fun! Thinking about what a great time I had with all of my InterVarsity friends that night has helped inspire these ideas of family.

InterVarsity is definitely not my only family, though. I have great friends, also some of my best friends, outside of it. In particular, I think of two of my friends who I really became close to living in Hassinger last year. We all live in a row this year in the Scholar's House. We do a lot together--eating dinner or lunch, frequently ordering pizza on weekends, chilling and watching movies, etc. Even when I'm getting totally over-emotional, they are completely there for me--even if that involves tears and unintelligible ranting. They're a huge part of my life.

Don't get me wrong--nothing can replace the family I grew up in and love! But when you're away from home, I think having a family of friends is a neccesity. It is also one of the greatest things about college. Sure, the learning can be lovely at times, but learning alone just doesn't result in the same kind of hugs.

And We're Back!

I am ecstatic to be back on SU's campus for the latter half of my sophomore year. All I seem to do on this blog is marvel at the passage of time, but it really is so hard for me to believe that it's my fourth semester here. Winter break, about a month long, gave me plenty of time to miss school and my friends here--especially since I spent most of it working.

This semester I am looking forward to continuing activities with coed service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega and InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. For Alpha Phi Omega this semester, I will be having a "Little," which is a pledge who you mentor through the pledging process. I have no idea who my "Little" will be, but I am excited to have one! I'll also be getting to work on my Scholar's House project--a novel and a blog. The blog, about faith and writing, can now be found here, if you're interested. I really need to buckle down, in terms of the novel draft, and get things done.

I'm  rather optimistic about my classes this semester, as well. I'll be taking Intro to Asian Religions, Aesthetics & Interpretation, Luther: Life & Thought, and Intro to Poetry. I am most excited for Intro to Poetry since I've been in somewhat of a poetry phase lately. So far, I've already had Intro to Asian Religions and Aesthetics & Interpretation. Both of the classes left great impressions.

All in all, I'm excited for what this semester has in store. Hopefully, I'll keep a great record of it here!

The Final Stretch--December!

We’ve reached the month of December! It really is the final stretch of this semester.

  

On Monday, my Sophomore Essay will be wrapped up—the final draft turned in and, after 8:30 p.m., the end of public Sophomore Essay presentations, my PowerPoint given. I need to work on my essay this weekend, but thankfully, most of the edits I’ll be tackling are minor. My PowerPoint also needs some tweaking.

 In Intermediate Fiction, we are on our last portfolio which we will hand in at a reading at our professor’s house.  I am not so confident about where I’m at with this portfolio as I am with my Sophomore Essay.Among other things, I need to do a major rewrite on one of my stories. I am not feeling too enthusiastic about either of my pieces this semester. Hopefully the magic will come back when I sit down to write!

My grammar paper is in need of some serious work too. The rough draft I turned in was admittedly not the best I’ve ever done. It doesn’t help that I’m finding it difficult to really take a side with my paper. I’m examining grammatical differences in two versions of the Bible and I am supposed to be arguing that one version is more rhetorically effective. Initially, I decided the modern version was more rhetorically effective, but examining the King James Version has made me realize some if its rhetorical strengths, as well. This essay is due later than my portfolio, though, so I still have quite some time.

There are also final projects coming up in Thought & the Natural Sciences and a final paper in Hebrew Bible.

Something else I am just finishing up is applying to study away for a semester. I will be turning in my two final forms today—then I will officially be applied at Susquehanna’s Office of Cross-Cultural Programs (the application to the specific study abroad program comes later)! Though filling out the application was a bit tedious, it also renewed my excitement for going abroad. I ended up with Northern Ireland as my first choice. I keep thinking, “This time next year, I’ll be in Europe!”

While these next weeks leading up to Christmas break are bound to be academically stressful, I am hoping there will also be time for fun. I am looking forward to the Christmas Candlelight Service, as well as our university president, President Lemons, reading Twas the Night Before Christmas to us in our pajamas. I’m also going to a young adult Christmas party at the Selinsgrove Church of the Nazarene on Saturday. As far as Christmas parties go, though, I am most excited for the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship Christmas party. Last year I received a clown mug as my gift!

All in all, though, I really am looking forward to break. It was nice being home for Thanksgiving, but it feels like such a short period. I am also looking forward to a new semester, new routines, and new classes come January.

The Neccesity of Breaks--And Some Fun Before Them!

It’s funny how my attitude towards breaks shifts over time. Many times last year, I felt conflicted about breaks. Wrapped up in my freshman collegiate experience and all of my new friendships, the thought of leaving school for whatever length of time was somewhat saddening. At the same time, there’s an itch to return home. This year, more used to the college life, I’ve, perhaps ironically, been looking forward to breaks more and more.

Thanksgiving Break is very quickly approaching, and that is truly something that fills me with thanks. The more stressful the time leading up to the break, the sweeter having that break is! This week I’ve been dealing with two group projects, one a scientific study and one for my Hebrew Bible class. Perhaps it’s my introverted side or an independent streak (or maybe even a controlling one), but I get drained by group projects quite easily. I also had an 8-page rough draft of my grammar essay due.

However, the break doesn’t necessarily mean an end of work.

I’ve gotten behind on my Scholar’s House project—completing a draft of a Christian YA novel and blogging about the intersection of faith and fiction—so I’d like to get a lot accomplished over break. This shouldn’t be that difficult, though. After all, a lot of college students I know are participating in NaNoWriMo, where you draft a novel in the month of November; I have a lot more time than that.

Fortunately, even if my break means a bit of creative work, it also means relaxation, time with family and friends, and really great Thanksgiving food.

I did get a prequel to that Thanksgiving meal, though, when I attended one of SU's biggest traditions for the first time--Thanksgiving Dinner! I went to the 4:30 p.m. seating with a group from InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. The cafeteria was packed with people excited for Thanksgiving food. The dinner definitely did not dissapoint. The stuffing was especially good. I wish we could have that dinner more often--though, I suppose, its rarity is what keeps it special. Another facet of this dinner is that faculty serve the students. President Lemons cut turkey for our table himself. Many groups got a picture with him after dinner, including ours. He really is so accessible and friendly. It makes me sad that, if I am abroad next fall, I'll only have one more Thanksgiving Dinner left at SU!

Tonight Alpha Phi Omega is having its formal at a nearby country club. There will be dancing as well as a banquet where I think there might be awards, as well as the results of recent elections. After a bit of stress this week, this formal will be a great relief. I am very excited about the dress I bought and for a friend to straighten my hair. I'm also looking forward to wearing my mask since it's a masquerade.

I'm glad that I haven't only been pining for break but have had--and will have tonight--some fun times before I get there!

Fall Conference!

Friday afternoon, I headed out to InterVarsity Fall Conference. InterVarsity Christian Fellowship is not merely an organization on this campus but is represented on campuses across the country. Fall Conferences provide a chance for students from different campuses to get together. At our conference, 10 colleges were represented, with decent numbers of students from schools like Albright, Alvernia, Bloomsburg, Bucknell, and Lehigh. The conference, which took place in the Poconos, provided plenty of free time for hanging out with friends as well as speakers, worship, and quiet time.

While I love the Susquehanna campus, I really do love these times when I can break from my usual routine and escape off-campus. It's a great opportunity to be away from stressors at school. In fact, I brought no homework at all with me on this trip, since I knew I wouldn't get to it. Of course, reality comes crashing back in very quickly--like finding out you've overslept Monday morning, for instance.

I wish it could've gone on longer, but I hope that it has ramifications on my semester as it continues. One thing I hope to do, particularly, is to deepen my friendships and fellowship with people from IV.

I am so grateful that I began attending this group first semester. It's been so formative to my college life and has given me so many memorable experiences that I would not have had otherwise. I advise all college students to join an organization they're passionate about as early as they can! I'm excited for the rest of the time I'll be having with IV throughout the year and through my next years here at SU, and though I may not get to go on Fall Conference next year, due to study abroad, I definitely want to go my senior year!

Fall Break and the Mini-Week

Number 3--my Venetian mask!

It's been a short but active week since I've returned from Fall Break!

Fall Break itself wasn't particularly interesting (it was also way too short), so I thought a fun way to share about it would be looking at a list of all the things I brought back from home after Fall Break that I hadn't had at school before.

1     A bag of clothing
2.   Bags of stuffed animals
3.   A Venetian mask
4.   My Halloween costume
5.   Rainboots
6.   Umbrella
7.   A fan
8.   Cookies

The clothing and stuffed animals are for Alpha Phi Omega, my service fraternity. APO is running a clothing drive as its major project, so I brought some of my clothes to donate. I am asking my parents to bring any clothes they have lying around when they come up for Family Weekend. APO has also made me aware of a stuffed animal drive. I’m pretty okay with parting with all of these stuffed animals—as long as I have my Pillow Pet that I got at APO initiation last year, a hippo I named Hagrid. The stuffed turtle, though, is probably the coolest of the stuffed animals I’m donating. The Venetian mask is also for Alpha Phi Omega. APO has a formal once a year. This year’s formal is masquerade themed. Many people are making masks, but I thought I’d take advantage of the one I had in my room! It’s a souvenier my brother bought me when he went on a trip to Europe in college.

I also brought my Halloween costume—or the key piece of it, which I bought at Salvation Army for 3 dollars over break. My Halloween costume is obscure, and nobody may get it, but I’m still very excited about it. I am being Lindsay Weir from the cult classic television show Freaks and Geeks. This costume basically consists of jeans and a green, oversized Army jacket.

Earlier in the year, I threw out my rainboots because they had a hole in them. This was a decision I came to regret since, for a while there, it was nonstop rain. It was such a relief to get rainboots over break! My former umbrella also had some difficulties—though I haven’t yet thrown it out. A new one is very helpful, though I’ve already used it and struggled with closing it before I go into buildings.

A small fan is one of the best things I’ve brought back from break! My room can get pretty hot. It’s super nice to feel that air.

There is no real reason for cookies, except that they’re Golden Oreos and they’re yummy.

All in all, I was pretty prepared for the short, but active week that was ahead of me! Yesterday was probably the most hectic, as I scrambled to complete a short story for Intermediate Fiction. It was due around midnight, but everyone else with the same due date had sent their stories in prior to mine—which came in around 9:45.

Nevertheless, I headed over to the Christian group I’m involved in, InterVarsity, even though it was only for the final 15 minutes. After InterVarsity was formally finished, a group of us stayed after to make a scarecrow for an event happening at SU called Scarecrows for a Cause.  Scarecrows for a Cause is a competition among different organizations. Each organization submits a decorated scarecrow, and members of the campus community will “vote” for different scarecrows by donating money. The scarecrow that accrues the most money will earn its groups’ charity of choice all of the money made through Scarecrows for a Cause. I didn’t go back until my room late last night, but it was worth it because it was a lot of fun—especially after all that story stress!

The Comfort Zone

During my first week back, I discovered that starting freshman year and starting sophomore year are two very different beasts.

One of the main differences is workload. During the beginning of my first semester last year, I remember not having that much work to do; intentional or not, it felt as if I was being eased into the academic experience of college. This gave me a lot of free time in the evenings to spend with friends.  So far I’ve managed to spend a lot of time with my friends, but to do so, at least on week nights, I’m usually putting off homework.

It’s also quite different to come in already involved. InterVarsity Christian Fellowship was a constant of my freshman year. Our first large-group meeting was on Thursday. Last year, I probably had some trepidation as I attended the first meeting of the year—being somewhat socially awkward and nervous about finding my place in that group of people, or more likely, just surviving the night.  As a sophomore I returned to something familiar and was able to catch up with friends.

My attitude in general is very different this year. As a freshman, things are completely new. The start of the year is very much about making friends and meeting new people. In a way, everything is in flux—to be determined. As a sophomore I may have power to change my course, but I also have established friendships. Making new friends is still a goal, but it’s certainly not as desperate of one as it was last year. Therefore, things don’t seem as high stakes, and I’m free from those freshman year jitters.

Another difference: one of my friends has a car this year, and we can finally go off-campus without limiting ourselves to the free shuttle schedule. We’ve already made a few trips. Last Sunday we went to Target, Saturday we went to the mall, and this Sunday we headed to Wal-Mart and Weis.  The chance to get off-campus is always helpful. Last year, campus could feel a bit suffocating after long stretches without leaving. However, chances to get off campus also equal chances to lighten the wallet.

All in all, there’s been some more work and some big changes, but I also have a nice comfort zone. “Comfort zone” usually has a negative connotation. Throughout the year I’ll definitely need to go beyond this zone, breaking its boundaries, but I also think a comfort zone can be a nice haven and a good starting point.

Officially A Brother!

I’ve finally been initiated into Alpha Phi Omega, which is, if you haven’t been keeping up, a national, coed service fraternity.  Our initiation was late Wednesday night, and it marked me, officially, as a “brother.” 

Me and some other newly initiated brothers

One of the most exciting things was being able to exchange gifts with my Big Sarah afterwards.  I got my Big a shirt with APO letters on it—I actually made those letters and liked them, surprisingly enough, considering my usual crafty failure—and a paddle with my name and hers, APO, my pledge class, etc.  I also got her a little stuffed hippo because we’re members of the Hippo Family (APO has many animal-themed families, including penguins, frogs, lions, etc.) and wrote her a poem.  She gave me my first set of letters which I was so pumped to wear yesterday.  She also got me a really awesome Hippo Pillow Pet which I named Hagrid.  I used it as a pillow last night.  So soft and comfortable!  Her paddle for me is very cute, and I’m still trying to decide where it should stay in my room.

Of course, things aren’t the most important part of being initiated.  I’m very excited to be fully part of a group that is filled with such cool, admirable people and that does so many great things on campus and in the community.  I hope a lot of friendships stem and flourish from APO, as well as characteristics in myself, like leadership and positivity and service.

Speaking of organizations that mean a lot to me, last night, Thursday, I went to the second to last InterVarsity large group meeting of the year, which is pretty sad. It’s been such a blessing and such a big, shaping influence on my freshman year.  I think I even attended the first IV meeting of the  year, so it’s been a pretty significant constant.  I will miss this fellowship so much over the summer!  It’ll be so strange to come back next year, with the seniors gone and a group of unfamiliar freshmen.  No longer being the youngest just seems freaky. I'm sure, though, that IV has a great year in store next year.  

Time Management

One of the trickiest aspects of being a college student is time management. It’s certainly something I deal with and it appears to be a struggle, to some degree, for almost all of my friends. College just feels busier than high school. Sure, during high school I got up by 6:45 a.m. (EEK!) and was stuck within school walls from 7-something in the morning to 2:45 p.m., no escape, no gap between classes except for that 4 minute walk through the halls, but after that I went home. Even if I had something after school, like musical rehearsal, I’d usually be home by 5:30.  My days start later here—thankfully—but end later as well. Mondays and Wednesdays, for instance, I’m busy from 9 to 4:05, with only a break from 1:00 to 1:45 for lunch.

There’s so much more to do after your school day is over as well. There are social distractions, for instance. Why read The French Lieutenant’s Woman by John Fowles for your Romantic Novels class, for instance, when you could be playing MASH with some of your friends? Yes, that may have happened just yesterday—though I did get my reading done, I promise!  There are a lot of very active extracurricular groups that can keep your schedule full as well. Tonight for instance, I hope to be able to go to an InterVarsity Life Group, which is a Bible Study at 7:30 (I've been skipping lately because I haven't been able to manage the time well enough to go), followed directly by pledge class and a chapter meeting for Alpha Phi Omega. There’s also that pesky issue of fitting some homework into that lineup.

Though I’m far from a time management expert, I think prioritizing is definitely helpful when it comes to time management. My strategy usually ends up being getting done what absolutely has to get done. A strategy to get ahead on my work over the weekends, however, might be a bit more practical, though it would seem awfully painful as I stowed myself away on a Saturday afternoon.

Typically, however, getting schoolwork done isn’t the issue for me. Pesky things like laundry are what fall to the wayside. I’ve been saying I need to do laundry since last week, and yet the clothing is piling up in my closet.  I really need to buckle down and get some done tonight. My pledge class’s group service project on Friday is an intergenerational prom at the Graysonview Assisted Living Community, and I have induction to the freshman academic honor society Alpha Lambda Delta on Sunday.  Both require nice clothes which, as of now, are wrinkled at the bottom of my hamper. 

I think tonight I may just skip dinner with my pals to get that laundry done and start doing research for my group project in Applied Biblical Ethics.  Then, before Life Group, I'll grab some Benny's dinner to go.  This actually sounds like a really good idea.  Maybe I should start planning things more often! 

Common Ground

One of the really awesome things about college, or I suppose life in general, is finding people who are interested in the same things as you are, whether that’s a fandom, like Harry Potter, or something more influential in your life, like your faith.  I’ve been very lucky to find people who share my interests at SU.

My Harry Potter Poster

Creative writing is huge in that regard.  Some of my closest friends, including my roommate, are fellow Creative Writing majors, with whom I can be nerdy about books or discuss the pains of revisions, conferences, and critique letters.

Speaking of books, I am a die-hard Harry Potter fan.  This love goes beyond the books and includes A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel, two parody musicals on YouTube about Harry Potter.  Very few of my friends were familiar with these musicals at home, but it seems like a lot of people here know about them.  In the beginning of the year, I was often singing “Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts” and “Granger Danger” with a friend here who’s also a big Harry Potter fan.  Additionally, I have people who can understand my raving about Ron and Hermione, my favorite literary couple, and my ranting about Ginny and Hermione, a couple that I find fairly irritating.

TV shows can be another area of common ground.  Just last night, I watched Glee with my roommate and my friend Karen.  It’s a lot more fun to watch, squeal and laugh and sometimes mock, with friends rather than alone.  I also had an awesome Boy Meets World marathon with my friends once and towards the beginning of the year had many viewings of one of my all-time favorite shows Freaks and Geeks.

As I said earlier, college has also been a great time to find and connect with people who share my faith.  I have great Christian friends in my dorm, and especially through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, I’ve been able to meet so many more people who share this important aspect of my life and values.  Particularly, the small Life Group I've attended has helped me make friendships with others of my faith.  

I love how natural it has been to find these people with common interests, and I love how these common interests have evolved into friendships! 

Only 4 Years! Then Onto Careers!

This year is zooming past.  Friday I leave for Spring Break.  I’ll return to basically half a semester more of being a freshman.  This year has gone by so quickly, especially in comparison to my turtle-slow senior year.   Turtle in molasses, with a dumbbell on its back, slow. 

As a worrier who often looks to the future, this has me thinking along these lines: Freshman year is almost over and then I’ll be a sophomore and then I’ll be gone for a semester in Europe and then I’ll have one semester at SU as a junior and then it’ll be my final year and I’ll be a senior and then I’ll be in the real world  and college will be over!  (Yes, that sentence was intentionally crazy).    

It shouldn’t be surprising that I’ve been thinking about careers lately, even if I have time to spare.   

I came into college very decided on my major and somewhat decided on my career path.  I want to be a novelist, particularly a YA novelist, and I don’t foresee that changing, but I need another career to rely on for a living, unless I am blessed with exactly the right set of circumstances.  Upon entering college I thought I knew what I wanted that career to be—an editor, maybe in children’s publishing.  I was pretty much set on getting an Editing & Publishing minor.  Progressively, the minor and career path thrill me less and less. I am far from ruling out publishing and might pursue an internship in that field down the line, but lately I’ve been considering becoming a librarian. 

I volunteered in a library all throughout high school, and I loved it, but for some reason, I never thought about it as a career all too seriously.  I didn’t think I was communicative or outgoing enough for the position, though I think college has given me more faith in myself in those regards. 

The more I contemplate, the more I love libraries as institutions and the more I believe that they have the power to effect change.  In Applied Biblical Ethics, at an InterVarsity conference I attended, and other aspects of my religious life on campus, my attention keeps being brought back to poverty.  In Biblical Ethics, especially, we’ve discussed how poverty, usually on the global scale, cannot just be addressed by charity, but by larger social institutions and structures—by the way in which our world works.  Improving literacy, whether globally or in the U.S., is key to educational success, and opening up doors to education for someone is key to helping them exit that cycle of poverty.  

I think libraries can be so influential if they assist in instilling a love of reading or in giving someone the means to nurture that love, especially someone who would otherwise not be able to do so.   I could often make purchases at a bookstore when I was younger.  This is not the case for so many.  Libraries provide other great resources of well.  Even in my middle class suburban area, I know a lot of patrons where I volunteered relied on the library for internet and computer access, greatly important for job searches.   

Particularly, I am thinking about being a children’s and young adult librarian because I love those books and would love to help that age group.  However, I don’t think I’d like to be a school librarian but would prefer a public library setting.   

Being a librarian would eventually mean going to grad school to get a MLS, Master’s in Library Science.  This definitely freaks me out.  In the beginning of the year, I told people that I would not go to grad school.  4 years was enough for me, thank you very much.  And how would I afford it?  But I am, I’ll admit, opening up to the idea, especially of working for a few years and then going for it online. 

Maybe by my senior year, these four years will have seemed slow (though I doubt it), and maybe I will have a completely different life plan worked out (more likely), but I’m glad I have a place to record these thoughts, so I can see how I opened myself to new possibilities and how that has allowed me to evolve. 

Stress!

The life of a college student can get pretty hectic. I knew that was true before, but it's really sinking in now.  Last semester I set a goal of becoming more involved in the Spring--and you could say I'm attaining it.  I'm a pledge of Alpha Phi Omega and am now a reading board member for SU's literary magazine RiverCraft.  Additionally, I still want to stay involved with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, which, for me, might mean attending prayer group on Monday, "life group" or Bible study on Wednesday, and a large worship gathering on Thursday.  Oh yeah, and there's also schoolwork.  And work work.  And friendship.  And life. 

I'm already beginning to worry that I've put a bit too much on my plate, even if I'm not completely consumed by stress just yet.  Rather, I have that weighty sort of sensing-impending-doom type of stress.  I'm not immersed in all these activities yet and am very much at the beginning of some processes, but there's still a worry that I can't juggle everything and I'll have to drop a ball--and if I have to drop a ball, which one?

This all sounds a little dramatic, I'm sure.

And to be fair, I am a bit of a dramatic being.

The truth is, all my issues are typical.  My friends are dealing with similar stress right now and wondering how they'll make things work.  The thing is, a lot of people have made it work before us.  They've done as much, if not more, and made it to the other side.  And some did more than make it.  Some have heaped many things on their plate and excelled.  And sure, others may have been juggling too much and had to set some things aside, but you know what?  They made it too, in their own way.  They did what they needed to do to continue.

It'll be alright.

Being busy, after all, isn't the same as being important.  High GPAs and impressive resumes are nice, but they don't equate to fulfillment or meaning or happiness.  And failing in any aspect that I hope to juggle could be dissapointing, but it wouldn't be earth-shattering. Unless I let it be.     

This upcoming weekend, the Religious Life Council is hosting a Spring Retreat, which means escaping off-campus.  The more stressed I get, the more I am looking forward to this weekend as an opportunity to relax, get away, and be with God and people.  Hopefully it will reinforce the prior paragraph in my mind and heart, and I can carry some calm back with me to SU.

Dances and Dig-Ins and Inductions, Oh My!

This weekend was another interesting one--and definitely very busy!

Karen and I before dancing Friday

Friday was a night of dances.  First friends and I headed out to the Freshman Valentines' Day dance in Reed.  After hanging out there for a while, we headed over to TRAX for the Sock Hop, sponsored by SU Swings!  Swing dancing is really cool...to watch.  I didn't have those kind of moves or basic coordination, so a few friend sand I headed back early.

Saturday started the InterVarsity Dig-In, a small conference that brought together students in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at various colleges together to delve into a section of scripture, specifically the Sermon on the Mount.  Susquehanna actually hosted the conference this year.  At first it didn't feel like being on a conference since I was still on campus, but in the end I thought that it was really cool that, as a fellowship, we were able to experience intense Bible study and worship in places like the New Science Building or Faylor Lecture Hall.  SU students, along with students from Bucknell, hosted people overnight since the Dig-In continued into Sunday. My friends and I in Hass mostly hosted girls from Penn State.  It was funny to hear their opinions on the conditions of our residence halls (They seemed impressed! And they didn't even act as if my room in Hass was that small!), the size of our campus, and the many more stars in the sky.

Saturday night we took the students we were hosting over to Charlie's, the coffeehouse that is open at night on campus, where we met up with many people who were at the conference.  An enormous group of us ended up playing Catchphrase in Mellon Lounge, which is a part of our campus center.  It was basically the most intense game of Catchphrase I've ever played.   

On Sunday, after the end of the conference, it was back to the grindstone.  I already thought I had enough work when realized that my memoir--yes!  the memoir that I have been posting and angsting about!--completely slipped my mind. It was due out to my peers, it was already late, and I hadn't made any of the changes I had wanted. I shot out an e-mail saying I'd try to get the story to everyone by 5:30 and so sorry I was late. I had a few scenes handwritten that I wanted to add in, so I added those and tried to do a few of the other changes I'd been hoping to make.  Today will be my workshop on that piece.  As a perfectionist, I'm disheartened that it was late and not in the shape I would have liked it, especially since that's all my own fault, but I'm trying to look at it as a blessing in disguise--if I had the time to really work on it and think before sending it out, I may have let insecurity impact what I was writing.

I went to the Plugged-In Service at Church of the Nazarene that evening, a service specifically for college-aged people.  Afterward I headed over to Deg for dinner.  I grabbed some food from Benny's and ended up reading Wuthering Heights for my Thought & Civilization class in Mellon Lounge.  I was surprised by how productive I was without the distractions of friends or my laptop.  

At 9, I had my Alpha Phi Omega induction, which basically began my pledge process.  Alpha Phi Omega, as I have written in previous entries, is a coed service fraternity.  APO is divided up in families, and I am ecstatic to be part of the Hippo family.  I am also ecstatic that I got the Big (a mentor who takes you through the pledging process) I wanted and that I am sharing her with my friend Kathleen (this makes us "twins," in APO terminology)!  I didn't bring my camera with me, so I'm excited for those pictures to show up on Facebook.

The majority of the things that happened this weekend were super awesome, but I have been very busy. Perhaps the week will actually feel like a break in comparison? 

Sadly, I doubt this.  A lot.

Oh, and happy Valentine's Day!

An Assorted Kind of Post

Right now I am on the first day of a 3-day Action Assignment for my Applied Biblical Ethics class, which is requiring us to make strides to be more environmentally friendly.  One of my plans is to use my laptop only when absolutely necessary, and in those cases, only run on battery.  As of now, it is shut down and unplugged.  If I do really crave or need computer use, I am trying to rely on the library computer lab.  This will be challenging to me--a verifiable internet addict. A few minutes after midnight, I was thinking, Oh no, what am I going to do?!  My plan is to treat this as a (not very restrictive) electronic fast.  Hopefully I'll be able to make use of that time I'd normally be wasting away online.  Other ideas I have is to limit myself to one plate at the caf (to save water/energy used in cleaning, as well as to prevent food waste) and to one napkin during meals.  I've also unplugged my cell phone charger and clock--after all, I have a cell phone!  It'll be interesting to see what challenges, as well as blessings, arise during this 3-day assignment.

In other news, I'm looking forward to SU's upcoming Undergraduate Literature and Creative Writing Conference.  For my Intro to Fiction class last semester, we were required to submit a proposal to the conference. I sent one for one of my short stories "Routine," which I described in that proposal as: "told through various Halloweens, [it] reveals the love and lack of love between Belinda, a repressed librarian and bookstore worker, and Cyrus, a photographer with wanderlust and big aspirations. As their married life progresses, it becomes clear that he prioritizes creativity over her."  I've been placed into the Literature & Gender panel.  When it's my turn, I'll read a portion of my story and audience members will be able to ask me questions.  This has definitely made me a bit nervous.  As I do some further editing of the piece, both for the conference and so I can submit to SU's literary magazine RiverCraft, I'll definitely be thinking about what it might have to say about gender.  Speaking of which, I also plan to submit an application to the magazine's reading board!

I have a lot of other things going on as well.  A friend from home is visiting me tonight.  I'm going to the InterVarsity Superbowl party on Sunday.  This weekend I need to work on my memoir so I can send it to Dr. Retief for my conference on Monday.  Also coming up, I plan to rush Alpha Phi Omega, the service fraternity on campus.  There are also a lot of events I'll be attending soon, like InterVarsity's Dig-In which is like a mini-retreat, hosted this year by SU, and Religious Life Council's Retreat.

Surely all of this will add up to good blogging inspiration!