Back to What?

Coming back to Susquehanna was very exciting, but I think I need to make it clear, to both my readers and myself, that coming back to Susquehanna is exactly that: coming back to Susquehanna. I didn’t come back to my freshman year, to Hassinger Hall, or to a top bunk. I didn’t come back to pick things up as they left off—not exactly. This year is new.

My room this year--before it got messy!

Not as new as coming into Susquehanna as a nervous freshman wondering what college will entail.

But still new. New enough that I am curious to see where this year takes me. New enough , even though I’m familiar with my friends, this campus, and the routine of work and classes,  that it’s taking a bit of adjustment to get back into the swing of things.

Or more accurately, to start a new swing of things.

Something I have to tackle this year is how to maintain and balance friendships with people who I used to live with but now don’t get to see on that same, day-to-day basis.  Only a certain set of my friends have that same right-down-the-hall status. Also, I’m still acclimating  to living alone. I definitely need to work out a cleaning routine because, without a roommate to consider, I’ve let things get a bit disheveled. Clearly, this isn’t the biggest issue with living alone, but it’s something I should probably work on!   

In another entry, I talked about how being a sophomore was good because I had a comfort zone from which to start. That’s still true. However, that comfort zone has had to shift and budge a little. It’s been altered—it’s been pinched by some discomforts, forces of change. Discomfort isn’t a negative, though.  No year can be the same as the one before. And next year I may, all over again, be contemplating on how to adapt to the changes of a different academic year.

 I’ll admit that, right now, I have a bit of nostalgic longing for my freshman year. I see people enter Hassinger—people that aren’t me—and go a bit gooey on the inside. Facebook shows me status updates from “this day in 2010,” and I relive that fresh, exciting period of time where I was just really discovering and getting to know the friends I have now.

I’m hoping that next year my time as a sophomore will elicit the same feelings.

The Comfort Zone

During my first week back, I discovered that starting freshman year and starting sophomore year are two very different beasts.

One of the main differences is workload. During the beginning of my first semester last year, I remember not having that much work to do; intentional or not, it felt as if I was being eased into the academic experience of college. This gave me a lot of free time in the evenings to spend with friends.  So far I’ve managed to spend a lot of time with my friends, but to do so, at least on week nights, I’m usually putting off homework.

It’s also quite different to come in already involved. InterVarsity Christian Fellowship was a constant of my freshman year. Our first large-group meeting was on Thursday. Last year, I probably had some trepidation as I attended the first meeting of the year—being somewhat socially awkward and nervous about finding my place in that group of people, or more likely, just surviving the night.  As a sophomore I returned to something familiar and was able to catch up with friends.

My attitude in general is very different this year. As a freshman, things are completely new. The start of the year is very much about making friends and meeting new people. In a way, everything is in flux—to be determined. As a sophomore I may have power to change my course, but I also have established friendships. Making new friends is still a goal, but it’s certainly not as desperate of one as it was last year. Therefore, things don’t seem as high stakes, and I’m free from those freshman year jitters.

Another difference: one of my friends has a car this year, and we can finally go off-campus without limiting ourselves to the free shuttle schedule. We’ve already made a few trips. Last Sunday we went to Target, Saturday we went to the mall, and this Sunday we headed to Wal-Mart and Weis.  The chance to get off-campus is always helpful. Last year, campus could feel a bit suffocating after long stretches without leaving. However, chances to get off campus also equal chances to lighten the wallet.

All in all, there’s been some more work and some big changes, but I also have a nice comfort zone. “Comfort zone” usually has a negative connotation. Throughout the year I’ll definitely need to go beyond this zone, breaking its boundaries, but I also think a comfort zone can be a nice haven and a good starting point.

Evaluating My Goals

For what may be my last post of the year, I wanted to take a look at some of the goals I set for myself this semester. After all the last day of a college class usually includes an evaluation of the course and the professor. This will just be a self-evaluation.

Here are those original goals.

1. Keep up with my New Year's resolution.
2.  Write more often, and not just for my Intro to Nonfiction class
3.  Read more often, and again, not just for class.

4.  Enlarge my social circle at Susquehanna.  Meet new people!  Make new friendships!
5.  Get involved in new activities, like Alpha Phi Omega, the service fraternity, or a reading board for a literary magazine.
6.  Procrastinate less.
7.  Study more.
8.  Cut down on my addition--fries!  

It’s kind of frightening to see how poorly I’ve executed these.   My New Year’s resolution was to follow a read-the-Bible in the year plan, but then I got behind and behind and more behind and now I’m super behind, so I’m deeming that a failure. I will try to catch up this summer. I’ve written in little spurts things unrelated to class, but not anything substantial.  I haven’t devoted enough time to reading for pleasure as I should have.  In fact, I’ve devoted, basically, no time. 

The social goal is one where I’ve made a bit more progress.  I’m not exactly overwhelmed with new friends, but I think I know more people now and know some people from first semester a bit better than I had.  I’m happy to say that number five has been completely achieved. I pledged Alpha Phi Omega—much of that experience came up in previous entries—and was on a reading board for RiverCraft.

My level of procrastination is probably quite similar to first semester, and I may actually have studied less.  Fries—well, I certainly don’t think I’ve increased my fry intake. Then again, I can barely think of that as a possibility!

Perhaps the top goal for next year should be to achieve more of my goals!

An Eventful Weekend

This weekend was a bit more eventful than usual. 

On Friday, I finally found out that my Scholars House application was accepted, as were my friends Lindsey and Alexis’s.  It’s such a relief to know where I’m living next year without having to undergo that lottery process.  The three of us are very excited that we all got in.  Funny enough, we’re numbers 207, 208, and 209, which might mean we’re in a row.  

That night, my friends and I headed over to TRAX to watch the Battle of the Bands.   Four bands played.  There was really a range of different music, from covers of Lady Gaga, Pink, Blink 182, and Flyleaf to original compositions.  I noted a high percentage of Creative Writing majors among the band members, which is always amusing; really, Creative Writing majors are just crawling all over this campus. 

Saturday afternoon, I worked on decorating my paddle for Alpha Phi Omega.   In APO, you decorate a paddle for your Big, or your mentor-like figure guiding you through pledging, and present it to them during Initiation. 

That night, two friends and I went to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. What they do in these showings is play the movie but also have a shadow cast on stage, who acts along with the movie.  The audience is encouraged to interact by doing call-outs which involve shouting at the screen, “WHERE’S YOUR NECK?!” at the narrator or booing a certain character.  It was definitely an interesting experience for me.  I had seen the movie before (an interesting experience in and of itself, because it’s strange!), but I’d never been to anything live like that.

Sunday was not particularly eventful.  At 7 p.m., I went over to the Selinsgrove Church of the Nazarene for a Lent service.  There was worship, and then the choir performed the first three scenes of their Easter musical, which was really good.

Of course, I left my homework to Sunday, like the procrastinating being that I am.

This upcoming week, I have both of the pledge service projects for Alpha Phi Omega, one on Friday and the other on Saturday.  On Sunday I have induction into Alpha Lambda Delta, the freshman academic honor society.  My parents and my brother are coming up for the occasion, and afterwards, we will probably hang out, go to the mall, and head to Red Robin for some dinner.  I’m looking forward to that, especially since my brother is moving very shortly to Los Angeles, so it might be a while before I see him again.

I’m predicting that the month of April will be very busy for me.  Hopefully that means it will just fly by, though that may end up being bittersweet.   I don’t have that much time left as a freshman and not that much time left in Hassinger!

Spring Break

In the world of television and movies, Spring Break equals hitting the beach with friends and going to wild parties and getting up to all sorts of college-aged shenanigans. In my world (and it seems like the world of most I’ve spoken to), Spring Break means getting to go home! It means relaxation and much watching of the television. It means getting together with friends. It means doing laundry because a massive amount of dirty clothing has accumulated in my dorm room closet. It means getting in a few volunteer hours towards my total for Alpha Phi Omega by going to the library where I volunteered all four years of high school. It means hopefully getting to go see my high school’s production of The Wizard of Oz. It means working on my literary journalism piece for Intro to Creative Nonfiction. It means sending in my application for housing next year. Two friends and I are both aiming for the Scholar’s House.

It also means I am halfway through my second semester of my freshman year of college, which I talked about in my previous post. It just sounds so kooky to me! I can’t believe I only have a quarter of the year left.

Even if I’m a bit freaked out by the quickness of this year, I have to admit how excited I am to go home. I’m very fortunate in that, unlike a lot of my friends, I can leave Thursday instead of Friday. My classes end at 4:05 Thursday, and both of my classes are cancelled the next day. It will also be awesome because my older brother will be picking me up and this is the first time he will get to see my dorm room in person. Also, I will be making him take me to Red Robin after he picks me up, which I’m currently craving as I type.

More so, I think this is a point in the semester where a lot of people, at least among my friends, are ready to escape from campus life for a bit. With midterms coming up, the task of figuring out rooming arrangements for next year, and a bunch of activities in full swing, the past few weeks have gotten a little rough. And though I love SU and am not and will never be the go-home-every-weekend kind of kid, I’m definitely ready, and definitely in need of, a stretch of time at home.

I only have to get through two more days, write a 6 to 8 page essay on 19th century romances (I have about 2 pages...procrastination!), and take a midterm in Applied Biblical Ethics tomorrow.  Not so bad in comparison to the schedules of many.  I'm almost free!

Only 4 Years! Then Onto Careers!

This year is zooming past.  Friday I leave for Spring Break.  I’ll return to basically half a semester more of being a freshman.  This year has gone by so quickly, especially in comparison to my turtle-slow senior year.   Turtle in molasses, with a dumbbell on its back, slow. 

As a worrier who often looks to the future, this has me thinking along these lines: Freshman year is almost over and then I’ll be a sophomore and then I’ll be gone for a semester in Europe and then I’ll have one semester at SU as a junior and then it’ll be my final year and I’ll be a senior and then I’ll be in the real world  and college will be over!  (Yes, that sentence was intentionally crazy).    

It shouldn’t be surprising that I’ve been thinking about careers lately, even if I have time to spare.   

I came into college very decided on my major and somewhat decided on my career path.  I want to be a novelist, particularly a YA novelist, and I don’t foresee that changing, but I need another career to rely on for a living, unless I am blessed with exactly the right set of circumstances.  Upon entering college I thought I knew what I wanted that career to be—an editor, maybe in children’s publishing.  I was pretty much set on getting an Editing & Publishing minor.  Progressively, the minor and career path thrill me less and less. I am far from ruling out publishing and might pursue an internship in that field down the line, but lately I’ve been considering becoming a librarian. 

I volunteered in a library all throughout high school, and I loved it, but for some reason, I never thought about it as a career all too seriously.  I didn’t think I was communicative or outgoing enough for the position, though I think college has given me more faith in myself in those regards. 

The more I contemplate, the more I love libraries as institutions and the more I believe that they have the power to effect change.  In Applied Biblical Ethics, at an InterVarsity conference I attended, and other aspects of my religious life on campus, my attention keeps being brought back to poverty.  In Biblical Ethics, especially, we’ve discussed how poverty, usually on the global scale, cannot just be addressed by charity, but by larger social institutions and structures—by the way in which our world works.  Improving literacy, whether globally or in the U.S., is key to educational success, and opening up doors to education for someone is key to helping them exit that cycle of poverty.  

I think libraries can be so influential if they assist in instilling a love of reading or in giving someone the means to nurture that love, especially someone who would otherwise not be able to do so.   I could often make purchases at a bookstore when I was younger.  This is not the case for so many.  Libraries provide other great resources of well.  Even in my middle class suburban area, I know a lot of patrons where I volunteered relied on the library for internet and computer access, greatly important for job searches.   

Particularly, I am thinking about being a children’s and young adult librarian because I love those books and would love to help that age group.  However, I don’t think I’d like to be a school librarian but would prefer a public library setting.   

Being a librarian would eventually mean going to grad school to get a MLS, Master’s in Library Science.  This definitely freaks me out.  In the beginning of the year, I told people that I would not go to grad school.  4 years was enough for me, thank you very much.  And how would I afford it?  But I am, I’ll admit, opening up to the idea, especially of working for a few years and then going for it online. 

Maybe by my senior year, these four years will have seemed slow (though I doubt it), and maybe I will have a completely different life plan worked out (more likely), but I’m glad I have a place to record these thoughts, so I can see how I opened myself to new possibilities and how that has allowed me to evolve. 

Looking Forward: Living Arrangements for Next Year

As an incoming freshman, your fate is fairly limited when it comes to living arrangements.   I was blessed to be able to connect with a friend I’d made at a summer writing workshop.  We requested each other as roommates.  We were also able to request Hassinger Hall.  Though we knew it had smaller dorm rooms than some of our other options, its reputation fit us best.  All in all, I went into my first day less blind than many who were plopped into a random residence hall with a random roommate whose interests and personality could be far from compatible with their own. 

Deciding living arrangements for the upcoming year, however, has a lot more choice involved.

A singular roommate is not all that must be considered.   I have a whole group of friends, and all of us must work out who is living with who, and who is living by who, and where it is we’re going to live.  Nobody really cared about my choice of living arrangements coming into this year, besides my roommate and of course my interested parents, but now there’s a bit more to juggle.  What I and my friends pick will impact each other and will contribute to the shaping of our sophomore years. 

Personally, I like West Village a lot for the kitchens and the layout with the common area.   I stayed there during my second summer that I attended a writing workshop and was very impressed, though the toilets flush scarily loud.  However, I would really like to live in Seibert, though I’ve yet to go inside any of its dorm rooms.  I suppose I’ve fallen for its charm.  Just as I’ve always been impressed with the cuteness of Hassinger Hall, I’ve always appreciated the beauty of Seibert, which happens to be a historical landmark.  Additionally, the student rooms have carpeting.  And I stumbled upon the atrium lounge when I got lost once (yes, I am an embarrassing freshman) and it just looked so cool.  At the same time, I shouldn’t limit myself to these options because I haven’t even stepped into some of the other residences. 

As I look to this future, I’m aware of how much I’ll miss Hass.  Living there comes with ups and downs, like any place does.  One major down: the lengthy treks to the campus center, Deg.  No matter any downs though, even those to come, it’s still sad that I’ll never be able to experience this particular environment ever again—the environment of my (so far) really awesome first year of college.

Where to GO? Looking at Study Abroad Options

A unique part of Susquehanna’s Central Curriculum is the Cross-Cultural Experience requirement, which is generally fulfilled through a semester or a few weeks abroad.  In Susquehanna lingo, these are called GO long programs and GO short programs.  GO stands for Global Opportunities.

I thought it might be interesting to record how I might be interested in fulfilling this requirement as a freshman and see if any of these are what I end up doing later on in my SU career.  Right now, I am leaning towards going away for a full semester, though shorter, service-oriented trips have also intrigued me.  One of the things I must keep in mind when choosing a location is affordability.  I should also consider that I might not have the chance—or quite such a convenient chance, at least—to travel in the future as I do now as a college student.   My older brother often cites not doing a semester abroad as one of his college regrets.  Right now, however, the thought of going away for a semester is frightening, especially when I’m still adjusting to life here. 

One program that’s listed as a “low-cost semester program” is in Budapest, Hungary.  I really would like to go someplace in Europe, and the idea of going somewhere in Central Europe, rather than more typical destinations like Paris or London, is intriguing.   What I also like about the possibility of studying abroad in Europe is that you can basically get to anywhere else in Europe once you’re there. 

However, when people ask me where I might want to go, my usual answer is Prague.  The city in the Czech Republic has somehow captured my imagination, though I need to do much more research on it.  I suppose it’s really a superficial fascination—I’m just struck by the beautiful pictures I’ve seen of it.  I also find the course options a bit more intriguing than those in Budapest; they include Script Analysis, Czech Short Stories, East European Cinema, and Contemporary Czech Culture: Alternative Literature, Music, and Lifestyles.  Still, it’s more expensive than Budapest and a bigger program. 

Then I start wondering if it’s a mistake to focus on Europe.  Places like Stellenbosch, South Africa are also plenty intriguing, as are schools in New Zealand. 

A different option altogether would be doing the Washington, D.C. Internship Semester.  It would be affordable and wouldn’t provide much of a culture shock, but it would still provide me with an experience of city living.  It would also provide internship experience.  I would classify it as one of my more practical options.   

Another issue with studying abroad is where I’d like to stay: in a homestay, apartment, or a dormitory.  I have heard homestays provide a more authentic experience, but I’d already be out of my comfort zone enough; immersing myself in a family of another culture might be too immersive.

All in all, there’s an awful lot to consider.  As someone who seems to relish opportunities to stress out, this requirement can be a source of worry.  When I actually get to have this cross cultural experience, though, I think I’ll have a much different perspective. 

   

The Social Evolution of a College Freshman

Being a college freshman is weird.  There’s no way getting around it.  You can call it good weird, bad weird, or in between, but no matter how you slice it, you’re still dealing with establishing yourself socially.  This is even weirder considering where you last were: a high school senior.  I was pretty grounded in my group of friends by that point.  I wasn’t going out and looking for other people to get to know, though if those people came along that was fine as well.  College, however, is going back to the beginning.  I haven’t been back to the beginning, at least to this extent, since 2^nd grade, when I moved to Pennsylvania from Virginia.  Since then, I’ve been able to carry elementary school friends into middle school, then middle school ones into high school.   I’ve always had someone—and while those high school connections haven’t left me, I still, in some ways, came to Susquehanna with a blank slate (excluding my wonderful roommate who I had met at a summer writing workshop).   

During orientation weekend, panic set in.  At least for me.  I needed friends.  I was starting all over.  I couldn’t do this.  Could I?

The next step in social evolution for me was making friends with the girls in my hall.  We live together, after all, so it’s pretty natural for us to join together, especially in the face of friendless-ness.   Once we bonded, especially over the first non-orientation weekend, it was such a relief.  I didn’t expect to have a group of people to hang out with so quickly!

However, another step eventually comes, and it seemed to hit a lot of my friends at the same time as it hit me: realizing a need for relationships outside of the hallway.  Friendships with the people you live with are great, but I think everybody feels that need for a change of pace.  After all, you see a lot of those friends from your floor.  You do live with them, after all. 

I think I’m at the point in my social evolution where I’m hoping to branch out and am getting to know other people.  Right now there are a lot of acquaintances, people I say “Hi” and “How are you?” to if I see them as I cross campus, people who fall into this category of potential friends.   The next step, if I take some action, should be translating acquaintanceship to friendship. 

This step seems to require a bigger leap than the others, but I think it’s probably one of those things that happens naturally with time.  As a freshmen, I would guess friendships evolve, expand, shift, and include new people.

Of course, sometimes my patience isn’t all it could be in this regard.  It’s easy to want those closest of close friendships right away.  A friendship like you have with your best friend back home.  A dynamic like your group had in high school.  These things don’t happen overnight, however.  They require cultivation.  Evolution.  Not spontaneous generation.  

But that’s alright.  Spontaneous can be shallow, and right now, I’m not seeking friendships that will be blown away come next semester.  Like most freshmen, I think, I’m looking for friendships with roots.