The Social Evolution of a College Freshman

Being a college freshman is weird.  There’s no way getting around it.  You can call it good weird, bad weird, or in between, but no matter how you slice it, you’re still dealing with establishing yourself socially.  This is even weirder considering where you last were: a high school senior.  I was pretty grounded in my group of friends by that point.  I wasn’t going out and looking for other people to get to know, though if those people came along that was fine as well.  College, however, is going back to the beginning.  I haven’t been back to the beginning, at least to this extent, since 2^nd grade, when I moved to Pennsylvania from Virginia.  Since then, I’ve been able to carry elementary school friends into middle school, then middle school ones into high school.   I’ve always had someone—and while those high school connections haven’t left me, I still, in some ways, came to Susquehanna with a blank slate (excluding my wonderful roommate who I had met at a summer writing workshop).   

During orientation weekend, panic set in.  At least for me.  I needed friends.  I was starting all over.  I couldn’t do this.  Could I?

The next step in social evolution for me was making friends with the girls in my hall.  We live together, after all, so it’s pretty natural for us to join together, especially in the face of friendless-ness.   Once we bonded, especially over the first non-orientation weekend, it was such a relief.  I didn’t expect to have a group of people to hang out with so quickly!

However, another step eventually comes, and it seemed to hit a lot of my friends at the same time as it hit me: realizing a need for relationships outside of the hallway.  Friendships with the people you live with are great, but I think everybody feels that need for a change of pace.  After all, you see a lot of those friends from your floor.  You do live with them, after all. 

I think I’m at the point in my social evolution where I’m hoping to branch out and am getting to know other people.  Right now there are a lot of acquaintances, people I say “Hi” and “How are you?” to if I see them as I cross campus, people who fall into this category of potential friends.   The next step, if I take some action, should be translating acquaintanceship to friendship. 

This step seems to require a bigger leap than the others, but I think it’s probably one of those things that happens naturally with time.  As a freshmen, I would guess friendships evolve, expand, shift, and include new people.

Of course, sometimes my patience isn’t all it could be in this regard.  It’s easy to want those closest of close friendships right away.  A friendship like you have with your best friend back home.  A dynamic like your group had in high school.  These things don’t happen overnight, however.  They require cultivation.  Evolution.  Not spontaneous generation.  

But that’s alright.  Spontaneous can be shallow, and right now, I’m not seeking friendships that will be blown away come next semester.  Like most freshmen, I think, I’m looking for friendships with roots.

Making it to Fall Break



Me in a
lovely Susquehanna
 sweatshirt
at the retreat

Before and even at college, I’ve heard this advice for freshmen: “Don’t go home until fall break.”   I’ve followed this advice, and now I’m eagerly looking forward to tomorrow, when I’ll be on my way home for the first time since my parents dropped me off August 26^th.

Orientation was inevitably awkward, but soon the third floor of my residence hall Hassinger (affectionately known as “Hass”) provided me with great friends.  At Susquehanna I’ve already had many late nights of giggling and talking—and as many late nights trying to finish homework.  I’ve written my first college paper and survived my first nail-biting exam.   I’ve raved at the club on campus, TRAX.  I’ve had my words workshopped by my peers in Tom Bailey’s Intro to Fiction class.  I’ve started my assistantship in Advancement Communications, which has meant writing articles, interviewing professors, doing research, and starting this blog.  And I’ve gotten involved, going to Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, Lutheran Student Movement, and even a Religious Life retreat at Mountain Dale Farms that allowed me a weekend off campus and one of the best views of the stars I've ever had.

Up until this weekend I viewed Fall Break with a certain amount of apprehension.  Home is home, and I love it, truly, but it’s so different from here.  A friend of mine compared college to a constant sleepover where you have to do homework.   So far, I agree.  There’s always that world waiting right outside your dorm room door.  At home, I open my bedroom door to a usually empty hallway with some laundry machines.  Not exactly as thrilling.

I’ve come to realize, though, that a break from the constant whirl of people will be a welcome refresher.  I look forward to spending time with my parents, meeting up with friends from high school, and catching up on all the TV I miss now that I actually have a life.  I want to be relaxed and renewed when I return to campus on Tuesday.   My shock at actually being in college is starting to wear off, and now I’m thrown into the reality of the situation.  Now I’m thrown into making that reality the best it can be.

I am finally excited about Fall Break.  In fact, I'm depending on it. 

That long Winter Break, however...