Introducing a Visiting Writer

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and of course, college being fairly busy and fast-faced, a lot has happened in that time! One of the things that stands out most, though, is that I got to introduce a visiting writer.

Susquehanna’s writing department brings in a series of visiting writers each year, spanning across genres. These writers do Q & A sessions with students in the afternoon and then have a reading in the evening. At each reading, a selected creative writing student always introduces the author before they take the stage. I was surprised when I received an email from the head of the department asking me to introduce Alison Stine.

Alison Stine is a poet who has had two full-length collections and one chapbook published. For my Advanced Poetry course, we read her book Ohio Violence, which I enjoyed. Though I was honored that my poetry professor had thought to refer me for this task, I was also very nervous! I still don’t feel as if I’m very articulate when discussing poetry, and I felt like I had no idea what or how much to say. Thankfully, the introduction started to shape up when I began thinking about my personal connection with Stine. Stine, particularly with her first collection, explores some teenage female experience, and in interviews, had really embraced a young readership. I loved that. I, too, write about young female experiences. In my collection for Advanced Poetry right now, I sometimes examine figures of teenage pop culture (Nick Jonas, Corbin Bleu, etc.). Other poems are inspired by my experiences, as a teenager and as a young adult, of trying to measure up to standards of what a “good Christian girl” should be. These aren’t necessarily the topics poetry critics are always interested in—but Stine’s work reminds me that I don’t need to write for them and that these youthful experiences can be imbued with beautiful language and complexity. Finding this connection allowed me to tap into a passion that I think, judging by some of the comments I received after the reading, really came across in my introduction.

Because I was introducing Alison Stine, I was invited to go to a dinner before the reading with her and some of the Creative Writing faculty at BJ’s. This was a bit nerve-wracking for me because I’m not the most extroverted person. However, I think it went well. I also was able to bring a friend with me (who is much more extroverted than me fortunately), which made it more comfortable.

This scenario, along with this whole semester, has led me to reflect more on what it might be like to pursue poetry professionally. Though I’ve been growing more and more comfortable considering myself a “poet” as my time at Susquehanna goes on, I think this semester I have spent much more time imagining being a professional poet as a possibility. One day—possibly—I could be the person giving a reading and being introduced by a student. Over winter break, I plan on going through the poetry I’ve written for my Advanced and Intermediate poetry workshops and finding poems I think might be ready to be sent out to magazines. In the world of poetry, you usually need a number of poems published before you can pursue chapbook-length or book-length publication, so this is an important step. 

I have one poem that is forthcoming in an issue of a small journal called the Saint Katherine Review, which I look forward to seeing in print. Last year, my Intermediate Poetry professor recommended the journal as a place to submit one of my poems. The editor of the review is Scott Cairns. Just recently I picked up some of his poetry from the library, and I am loving it so far! He tackles religious and spiritual subject matter in a beautiful way. It’s exciting to know that someone whose work I admire has read my work--and it's particularly exciting to think about a future where there may be many more people who read my work (even if that poetry audience is quite smaller than fiction or nonfiction's).   

Scheduling For My Final Semester

Last Friday, the newspaper was in my mailbox. Yes, the newspaper. The registration newspaper. My final one.  

The Friday before a course registration period begins, Susquehanna students all receive a list of the course offerings printed on newspaper. This information is online, but it’s handy to have in paper form—something I think Susquehanna students agree on, judging by how often I’ve seen students consulting it or circling things in it. Registering for my final set of Susquehanna courses is a big reminder of how short of a time I have left as an undergraduate. 

When students register for courses, they can consult something called a “degree audit” that shows all the required courses that students have left to take, including courses for majors, minors, and the university’s Central Curriculum. In past semesters, I always had a list of requirements to consider. Now I only had a few items! That's a great thing because it means I will graduate on time. However, it still feels very strange. 

The requirements I have left are an Oral Intensive course for the Central Curriculum (which I plan on fulfilling with a Modern Philosophy class), an English course called Forms of Writing that I need for my Creative Writing major, and the senior honors program requirements, which include a senior honors seminar and some type of research. The research requirement will be filled by the Capstone, or culminating project, I’ll be taking on in the Religious Studies department.  

All of these courses will amount to 14 credits. A standard credit load here is 16 credits, though people may take as little as 12 while remaining a full-time student. Many students exceed that 16. Right now, for instance, I'm taking 18 credits. Next semester I may have time to add an additional course, though it wouldn't be required. That course would probably be New Testament with one of my favorite religion professors. A part of me, though, thinks it might be better to stick with my 14 credits and dedicate more time to my independent study, especially since I will definitely be taking classes dealing with the New Testament if I end up going to seminary. One of my options might be auditing the class, which would mean sitting in and participating but not getting credit for the course and not having to do the homework.

Looking forward to next semester, I’m most excited about my independent study—though I’m a bit intimidated as well. I’ve decided to do a 4-credit independent study which means it’ll be quite a hefty paper. I believe my advisor told me I should expect to write around 40 pages. This makes me wish I'd completed more of my research over the summer like I had planned. Perhaps I’ll be able to get some more preliminary reading done when I’m home over Winter Break. For my project, I will be studying dating advice and approaches to pre-marital romantic relationships in American evangelical Christianity. I’m especially interested in focusing on the concept of “emotional purity” and the boundaries places on emotional intimacy within these relationships.  I’ve already looked at When God Writes Your Love Story by Leslie and Eric Ludy and Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris, some of the popular titles in Christian nonfiction addressing these topics. This independent study should be great preparation for the work I hope to eventually be doing in graduate school. 

I met with the advisor for my Religious Studies major yesterday, and this afternoon I will meet with my Creative Writing advisor. Afterwards, I'll be able to register online. Unlike some other colleges, registration isn’t a first-come, first-serve, dog-eat-dog ordeal. Rather, the Registrar’s Office figures out who gets into what classes by class year, requirements that people need fulfilled, etc. I won’t know right away, then, about what courses I get—though, as a senior who needs almost everything I’m taking to graduate, I'm assuming I won't have any difficulties.

Right now, I'm just hoping this isn't my last course registration period ever and that a few months from now I'll be doing this from graduate school--a beginner again.

What I've Learned My Sophomore Year

College is supposed to be a time for learning, self discovery, etc. Though it will always sound cliche to talk about what you learned about yourself and life at college, I think there's a lot of truth to that. I tried to reflect on some of the things that I have learned this year. This is by no means an extensive list but is, at least, a little glimpse of what I've been discovering this year.

• Having a single is not the worst thing ever. It’s actually kind of nice. At the beginning of the year, I struggled a lot with not having a roommate, but there really are some advantages to having a single.  You don’t have to worry about keeping someone up, for instance, when you want to stay up late. I’ll be having a single again next year. I’ll be switching single rooms with someone else when I come back from being abroad. I'm hoping to have a roommate senior year, but it may be a bit of an adjustment after living so long by myself!
  

• Academically, I have more interests than just creative writing! Coming into college, I assumed I was going to be an editor when I grew up, that I'd be an editing and publishing minor, that I would be deeply immersed in this department, that I'd be involved in editorial boards all the time, etc. After all, I'd always been the "writing girl" at school, and being well-rounded isn't really my strong suit. While Creative Writing is still very important to me, my involvement is not looking the way I had imagined it would at the beginning of freshman year, and it's not my only pursuit at this school.  My religion minor turned into a religion major this year, and I am so glad it did. I’ve really enjoyed studying Luther and the Reformation this semester, and I am looking forward to continuing my religious studies during the next two years.

• It’s actually true—you don’t have to live with people in order to maintain your friendships! This is something I believed all along, of course, but there was a certain level of nervousness and adjustment that came from living in the same dorm with all of my friends to having some of them live elsewhere. I’m happy to say that I feel like some of those friendships with people in my freshman residence hall  have even strengthened this year, without us living together! And I'm excited that I'll get to be living with them again next year (though that means not living with some other friends I've been with the past two years).

•  I like poetry. Writing it and reading it. I’ve always known that I liked poetry in a vague, I’ll-do-this-sometimes-for-fun-but-not-seriously way, but now I know that I like it in the way that I’d like to dedicate some time to writing it and actually becoming good. As for reading it, I have found that I love the poetry of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Sara Teasdale. I also like some poems by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I have a lot more reading to do on this front, though.

• Reflecting on the past two years, I think this year I've been a lot more comfortable with being outspoken. I’ve been a lot more willing to speak my mind in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship activities for instance, like Bible studies or large group discussions. I’ve also taken risks with talking to people I don’t know, through our spiritual survey questions called Soularium and an activity where we give out free cookies and iced tea or lemonade to people on Friday nights. I’ve also made some new friendships this year or bolstered ones that weren’t so strong last year. 

• To get a bit deeper, I’ve learned that progress does not always come in a straight, upward line. And that’s okay. Progress, in anything, will still involve bouts of struggle, backtracking, etc.

Seasons Ahead--Making Plans

Plans are coming together--both for this summer and next fall.

Over my Spring Break, I visited a possible internship site--the Historical Society of Dauphin County. I have an interest in a career in academic libraries or archives, and I really wanted to have an internship this summer that would help explore that interest. While there, I received a tour of the John Harris-Simon Cameron Mansion, a historical mansion in Harrisburg, and was able to look at the archives part of the society's office. I found out that I would be able to work with unprocessed manuscripts and scanning and writing descriptions for photos. I was definitely interested!

After coming back to school, I found out that this internship will be able to count towards the internship requirement for my Creative Writing major. Not only do I get to do something that's really interesting to me, but that's one less thing to worry about completing during the school year. I still have to fill out a form, though, and turn it into the Registrar, so I need to work on that.

Though I have been approved for study abroad by Susquehanna, I've also received my official acceptance to the University of Ulster-Coleraine campus in Northern Ireland for next fall. I have been able to get some things decided, like my course (module, as they say in the U.K.) and housing preferences. Over break, I also was able to apply for my passport. There's still a lot left to do to prepare for study abroad, though. Studying abroad seems to come with a never-ending supply of forms--just a warning to other students out there! For instance, I still need to get together my scholarship application for study abroad.     

Anyway, I'm looking forward to both of these things a lot. Though it's always a little bit stressful to get things planned, I feel confident that things are working out pretty well so far!

Joy Castro Reading

I’ll admit that I don’t go to nearly as many readings as a Creative Writing major should, and usually the ones I go to are because a Creative Writing professor required—or strongly encouraged—me to do so. Maybe it’s because my tastes aren’t always so literary. Or maybe it’s because it’s harder for me to make sense of things when they’re read aloud. The latter is especially the case with poetry. Unless read slowly and sort of obviously, the lines of the poem become wispy and too much for me to hold and make sense out of—even when I think I’d be able to get the poems just fine if I read them on paper.

However, on Monday, as part of the Undergraduate Literature and Creative Writing Conference, I went to the Joy Casto reading without being required to do so, and I think it may have been one of my favorite readings I’ve been to so far as Susquehanna.

I had never read any of Joy Castro’s work before but I was very impressed. Castro is mostly a nonfiction writer. She read to us some standalone essays as well as excerpts from her memoir The Truth Book. She also read to us from her first novel, Hell or High Water, which is coming out in July.

Castro’s writing was lyric and evocative. It was often dark, but there was also humor laced through some of her work. Certain scenes and essays stick in my mind, including a scene of young Joy questioning religion and Truth Book, Joy and her mother peeling apples, an essay about her deceased friend whose life path had diverged from her own and an essay about aging and marriage. 

There's definitely an added impact to nonfiction when hearing it spoken by the person who has gone through it all. Though I am not much of a creative nonfiction writer, hearing Joy Castro read reminded me of the power and creativity behind the genre. 

A Broadened Path

Going into college, I was fairly confident about what I wanted to do with my life. I was going to go into publishing, preferably young adult or children’s publishing, be an editor, something like that. And I was also going to be a Young Adult novelist. Pretty simple.

But as freshman year proceeded, I felt myself opening up to different possibilities. The prospect of publishing became less attractive, and the idea of librarianship came into the picture. With that came ideas of different kinds of librarianship—university librarianship, rare books librarianship, even work in archives.

Now, this year, particularly this semester, I feel myself opening up to even more possibilities as I become engrossed in my second major. I feel like the academic study of religion potentially holds something important for my future. But I don’t know what. What could I do with a graduate degree in religion--become a professor? That idea is fairly intimidating. I never thought of myself as a teaching type of person. Still, I’m drawn to the idea of graduate school, research, academia, etc., albeit hesitantly. This hesitance is, of course, appropriate because most of these ideas are wispy, newly floating in my head; plus, grad school would only be an option if I was fully or nearly-fully funded. Still, I can’t help but feeling like there is something there—something in this Religion major that may translate into a direction for my career.

Perhaps religion and librarianship would somehow find a combination in theological librarianship or the archives of a religious denomination--though that's a slim, slim field.

There’s communications to consider as well. My scholarship at Susquehanna includes an Assistantship in Advancement Communications. When I graduate, I’ll have four years of internship experience that would give me an edge in obtaining an entry-level communications job. Do I want to be in communications? I’m not sure. It’s the most practical choice out of everything I’ve considered, and the idea of communications for a non-profit I care about has a certain level of appeal. Maybe I’d be able to combine Communications with religious studies and work for a non-profit that deals with something like ecumenicism, which promotes unity and understanding between Christian denominations.

Even writing possibilities have expanded. For my scholar’s house project, I originally planned on completing a full draft of a Christian Young Adult novel, but I have found myself hardly motivated, in terms of fiction. Instead I keep turning to poetry. I’ve even adjusted  my project so my end-product is not a novel draft but a collection of writings dealing with faith—including both a segment of a novel and poems.  

For a girl who’s always been fairly set on what she wanted to do—at least the be-a-writer part of the equation—it’s unsettling that college hasn’t narrowed down my path but broadened it.  I’ll admit, I hope this broadening will suddenly contract senior year—that I will be led, clearly, to a pathway that is both fulfilling and financially viable. In fact, I would like for that contraction to take place now. In the meantime, though, I’ll have to try to make the best of this broad path of possibility.  

Appreciating My New Major

I’ve mentioned previously how much I’ve been enjoying my classes this semester, but I wanted to talk a bit more about how much I’m enjoying my religion classes. Last semester I bumped up my Religion minor from a Religion major. There was a decent amount of stressing on my part as I debated this decision. I’d be adding more requirements! I needed to be sure I’d get things finished! I didn’t want to majorly overload! And anyway, I’d be studying abroad for a semester! You know—those types of things. But I knew it was something I really wanted to do, and I ended up doing it.

This semester has definitely been confirmed that I made the right choice.

I am enjoying my Intro to Asian Religions class because everything is entirely new to me, so I feel like I’m learning a lot. I had a bit of background on the religions from a World History class in high school, but not an extensive understanding. For example, I know I once learned the caste system. But now I’ve read some of Hinduism’s most important texts, The Bhagavad Gita,  know the different forms of yoga (they don’t all have to do with meditating and stretching; in fact, the most popular form of yoga in India is bhakti, which is all about devotion to a god), and have an elementary understanding of concepts like rta and  dharma. I know the Hindu story behind creation and that the escape from the cycle of the reincarnation, into the Brahman, is called moksha. And this is really just the beginning of the course!

 I appreciate learning about a religion that shapes much of the world and is foreign to me, and I also appreciate its interaction with my faith. Rather than acting as a threat to my own Christian point of view, I think it actually inspires reflection on my faith.  I would love to one day take some comparative theology or comparative religion courses to engage even more heavily in that type of reflection.

My favorite class of the semester, though, is my Luther: Life and Thought course. As someone who, up until freshman year, had never attended a non-Catholic church service, I’m not exactly a Luther expert.  However, I think this contributes to my interest in the Protestant Reformation. Though I probably have more Protestant leanings, I think I have some Catholic sensibilities as well. Because of all these things, I find the divisiveness and lack of understanding that sometimes occurs between Protestants and Catholics really upsetting; I also find the relationship, differences, and history academically intriguing.

Anyway, I am learning a lot about the practices and theology of the Catholic church during Luther's time, as well as information on Luther's life (I'm particularly interested in the fact that he was often, in his early years, in spiritual crisis) and some of the figures in it (like Johann Von Staupitz—a very fun name to say; also, that almost everyone important was named Johann). Probably the most interesting part is learning about some of Luther’s theological concepts, like his ideas on free will (which I think I disagree with) and the state of a Christian as simultaneously saint and sinner.

I am actually enjoying these classes so much that it’s been making me think how I can incorporate my Religion degree into whatever my future career may be. I don’t have anything about that figured out yet, but I do know that I am excited to keep on taking Religion courses and learning more!

A Boardwalk, A Band, And More

This weekend--my first full weekend back at school--was filled with a lot of fun activity with friends. I'll admit that the beginning of my Saturday was quite lazy, but hey, it's nice to sleep in after the first week of classes!

The day picked up when I went to the opening of the art exhibit Up Routed For with two of my friends. First, we heard the artist talk about her work. Then we were able to look at it all in the gallery. I'm far from an art expert, but the exhibit seemed fun and unique to me. It featured video scuplture, a medium that I wasn't very used to seeing. One of my favorite things, at least in terms of experience, was the boardwalk that we were encouraged to walk on. It incorporated a video of the word "foreigner" being written in sand. Another fun video sculpture was called "Jacob's Ladder;" it was a tower of televisions playing video of escalators going up. There was also some really great photography that included houses and bridges made of postcards set against architectural backdrops.

Later that night, I met with those same friends to head over to TRAX, where the band Kingsfoil played a show. They had performed as an opening act at the fall semester's Neon Trees concert which I hadn't been able to attend, so this was my first time seeing them. They were good and super nice when we met them. Overall, it was a lot of fun! After they finished playing, TRAX kept playing music so we stuck around to dance.

Sunday was also a busy day. It started out with a chapel service honoring Martin Luther King, Jr. The music was especially great. Some of his favorite hymns had been chosen for the service. Afterwards, I had a long brunch with friends; Sunday brunch is one of my favorite meals of the week. Later that day, I helped my friend Karen cook dinner for a young adult service we go to at the Selinsgrove Church of the Nazarene. I am not much of a cook, but I was happy to help; the meal ended up being delicous. That night, friends and I met in the student center lobby to have a homework party.

Now the school week has started, and I am still feeling really great about my classes! My religion classes, I think, are going to be the most interesting this semester. I feel as if I'm learning a ton in Intro to Asian Religions. Right now we're learning about Hinduism, which I knew a bit about from World History classes; however, this class is totally expanding my understanding. I am also completely interested in my Luther: Life and Thought course.

So far, this semester has been off to a great start, and I'm hoping things continue that way!

And We're Back!

I am ecstatic to be back on SU's campus for the latter half of my sophomore year. All I seem to do on this blog is marvel at the passage of time, but it really is so hard for me to believe that it's my fourth semester here. Winter break, about a month long, gave me plenty of time to miss school and my friends here--especially since I spent most of it working.

This semester I am looking forward to continuing activities with coed service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega and InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. For Alpha Phi Omega this semester, I will be having a "Little," which is a pledge who you mentor through the pledging process. I have no idea who my "Little" will be, but I am excited to have one! I'll also be getting to work on my Scholar's House project--a novel and a blog. The blog, about faith and writing, can now be found here, if you're interested. I really need to buckle down, in terms of the novel draft, and get things done.

I'm  rather optimistic about my classes this semester, as well. I'll be taking Intro to Asian Religions, Aesthetics & Interpretation, Luther: Life & Thought, and Intro to Poetry. I am most excited for Intro to Poetry since I've been in somewhat of a poetry phase lately. So far, I've already had Intro to Asian Religions and Aesthetics & Interpretation. Both of the classes left great impressions.

All in all, I'm excited for what this semester has in store. Hopefully, I'll keep a great record of it here!

Officially A Double Major

After a lot of reflection, I’ve officially decided on and declared a Religion major.  Before I registered for next semester’s classes, I filled out the paper work for a second major. I am now a Creative Writing-Religion double major with an Honors program minor. I went back and forth with this decision many times, but I’m very pleased with it.

My coursework in religion classes so far, Applied Biblical Ethics and Hebrew Bible, has been interesting, and I had a strong desire to take more courses than only a Religion minor requires. I’m also very interested in how this major may play into future career paths. Maybe I could end up working for a religious magazine or theological journal or doing communications work for faith-based non-profits, churches, denominations, etc.  I’m also interested in librarianship, so maybe one day I could end up working for a theological library or archives for a denomination. The interplay of my spiritual life and my creative writing is also something of interest.

My Sophomore Essay has further affirmed this decision. Just on Monday, I turned in the second draft of my essay to my advisor. The draft is about 20 pages, and I’ve enjoyed working on it immensely. My topic, representation of doubt in young adult novels, has allowed me to branch into ideas of youth ministry, theological concepts like “theology of the cross,” and brief examples of doubt in the Bible. These religious components have interested me just as much as the literary component—which I also really enjoy! The essay itself is very much a meld of my dominant interests.

Next semester, if I get into the courses I registered for, my schedule will be evenly split between these two disciplines. For Creative Writing, I hope to take Intro to Poetry and Aesthetics and Interpretation. Intro to Poetry will be my last introductory class for Creative Writing. I’m excited for the change of pace I’ll get from escaping prose for a semester. I am also curious as to how I’ll enjoy the class because lately my interest in poetry has been rising. My two religion classes will probably be Intro to Asian Religions and Luther: Life and Thought. I’m looking forward to how different those topics will be, especially since I don’t feel particularly well-informed on either.

I’ll have to be diligent to fulfill all the requirements for both majors, but I think in the end it will be worth it, if it means studying two things that really interest me.

Being Studied

Though I have not been a brother of Alpha Phi Omega for very long, it has provided me quite a few opportunities that I wouldn't have had--or been aware of having--otherwise. For instance, last year I spent some time plucking weeds at a muddy campus garden and knocking on dorm room doors, asking students for their unneeded shirts. I'm a bit behind on my service hours for APO this semester (I need 20 by the semester's end, meaning I should be around 10 hours right now; unfortunately, I'm only a bit over 5) but I have still engaged in some new opportunities through APO this year. For example, I got to attend a kindergarten through third grade dance at the YMCA and represent Alpha Phi Omega at one of Susquehanna's activity fairs. 

Most recently, APO has asked brothers to sign up for some of the research studies SU students conduct.

Yesterday I participated in a Psychology study. It was a very simple way to help out my fellow students. All I had to do was report to a classroom at 7 p.m., fill out a consent form, and take a test, mostly about myself and my personality. The only downside, for me, is filling out test bubbles. I spend so long on each bubble! That definitely contributed to me being the second to last person to finish the test. Still, it was only a painless hour of time that helped out the pursuit of academics at Susquehanna.

Taking that study helped me appreciate the work that is done in other, more research-oriented majors, like psychology. It seems like a whole other way of life, when I think about what my Creative Writing major requires of me, and it strikes me how much our areas of study impact our college experiences. However, there are ample opportunities for students of different disciplines to support each other--that is, if we take them.

It's funny that these research studies come up now. My group in my science course for the Honors program, Thought & the Natural Sciences, is in the preliminary stage of our own research study. Since this research is coming from a science class that is more general and meant to fulfill Central Curriculum requirements, obviously our research won't be as in-depth. Still, we will follow a similar process on a smaller scale.

I suppose college gives not only the chance to study, but do studies and be studied in return.

Group Projects

In my Intermediate Fiction class, I just completed something I haven't done in any of my other writing courses--a group project. Like the rest of my writing courses, Intermediate Fiction is divided between workshopping people in the class and reading published works. Each group in our class is leading the discussion on two authors. Today, my group had to lead conversation and activity around two David Foster Wallace short stories. I was a little bit worried that I wouldn't contribute enough, because I wasn't leading a section on my own, but I think I was able to ask some interesting questions as well as respond to some of the questions my other group members raised. What I liked about this group project was that it was not nearly as stressful as many I've done!

My Thought & The Natural Sciences course also relies on group projects. For tomorrow, we need to turni n the next stage of our end-of-unit group project. Our professor gave us a lot of freedom as to the topic and medium of our projects. My team ended up choosing to do vlogs, or video blogs, of different scientists involved in aviation, in order to convey biographical information about these scientists as well as scientific concepts. I am playing Daniel Bernoulli. Aviation was before his time, but the Bernoulli principle became very important in flight. Our last due date we all turned in outlines of our research. Tonight I need to write my video script so I can hand that in. The next stage will be actually filming my video, which will be interesting--I feel like I need to find a good costume!

For Friday we also have to come up with an idea for an experiment we could conduct as a team. We're still in the brainstorming stage, but we are leaning towards something to do with psychology.

Usually, I'm very wary of group projects, but for both these classes, I've had good group members. I have yet to really feel my normal group project stress. I hope that I can continue warding that off as our group begins a new project in science.

In the Sophomore Essay Trenches

A week from today the first draft of my sophomore essay, a 15 to 20 page paper required by the Honors Program, is due to my adviser. I'll admit that I am not as far into my work as I want to be. The fact that I'm going off-campus this weekend for the religious life retreat (which I am really excited about) means I may be even more behind than I'd hoped. 

Still, I've actually been enjoying working on this essay--much more than most of my homework, anyway! Recently I've been gathering all of my research. I've found some fascinating articles. For my topic, representation of religious doubt in contemporary Young Adult fiction, I've not only been researching religion's role in YA literature but, more generally, conceptions of doubt by religious communities, methods of dealing with doubt, and the role of religion in the lives of teenagers. These articles, coming from the religious rather than literary angle, have been especially interesting to me. A few of them have been about how youth ministry should deal with teenagers questioning their faith. It may be a slight challenge to make the application of these articles clear when talking about YA, but with some effort, I think they can work well.

At the start of the sophomore essay program, students are always encouraged to pick a topic, outside their major or not, that is of interest to them. That's the difference between having a fun, or at least satisfying, experience and the whole thing being a drudgery. I'm really glad that I followed that advice and think that it's true.

Working on this project has made me consider bumping up my religion minor to a major; I would be a double major in Creative Writing and Religion. I don't think I'm going to decide that any time soon, but I'm definitely not ruling out the possibility. College is busy enough as it is, and I'm not so sure I could handle trying to complete the requirements for two programs. However, it is very, very enticing.

Short Shorts--Being Challenged As A Writer

When it comes to writing, I would identify myself as a novelist. I love to write longer pieces and can find the idea of writing fewer pages to be stifling. I tend to turn in lengthier pieces than many of my classmates--and those pieces still often beg for more pages. This has been a challenge since both Intro to Fiction and Intermediate Fiction courses are focused on short stories.

In Intermediate Fiction, my tendencies are challenged even more by "short short" assignments. Short shorts can be no more than four, double-spaced pages long. And yet they have to contain so much--or at least, contain very little done very well. Rather than having full-scale workshops, where the entire classes discusses the piece, we break into groups of four people and go over each person's work more informally.

I used my first short short as a chance to experiment. The experiment failed--at least judging by the feedback I received.

Today I have to e-mail out my newest short short to a different small group of students. This piece is a bit more conventional--also, I'm hoping, a bit better. I am both excited and nervous about hearing their feedback. I feel as if I understood short shorts more when writing this one. In my previous short short, I crammed in a lot of different scenes but this piece is more focused on a particular moment.

While I don't see myself abandoning my novelist aspirations to crank out short short anthologies, I definitely see that I'm being stretched as a writer by these activities--and surprisingly enough, I've actually enjoyed writing these short shorts, even if they may not be my best work.

A Future Alumna

For my work in University Communications, I am writing an article on the 15th anniversary  of the Creative Writing major. A significant portion of the research for this article was looking at alumni and their successes in Creative Writing, as well as their uses of the study in unrelated fields. As a Creative Writing major, I can't stop myself from wondering where I might fall among Creative Writing graduates in the future. Of course, I hope I'd be one of those better-known alumni in the program who is getting published and being invited back to read, but even those alumni have other jobs--other significant portions of their lives. I have the feeling for that many Creative Writing major alumni, their paths aren't always the most planned out, but I'm thinking that's probably common among college graduates.

Perhaps, by the time I'm graduating, I'll want to pursue an M.F.A., though I don't find that thought appealing now.

I've talked about my interest in a library career here before, and that interest is still there, though I don't want to go straight into a graduate program for library science. Grad school is a big commitment, and don't even get me started on issues of affordability! Maybe after graduation I'll have a chance to work in libraries to see if that's really what I want to pursue. Right now I keep kicking around the idea of being an academic librarian and working in a university setting. Even within the "academic librarian" field, there are many routes to take.

Maybe I will work in a communications-oriented job after I graduate. Or maybe I'll be in something that would seem totally out-there and irrelevant now. The main thing, however, is that I want to be writing, no matter what my job title may be. I hope that a few years out from graduation I'm beginning to accomplish what I want as a writer--particularly, that I'm publishing a YA novel--but even if I haven't been met with quick success, I hope Megan the alumna is still working towards it. I believe she will be.

Why I'm Here In The First Place

Already I have a feeling that this year is going to be a busy one.

After completing my Grammar and Science homework last night, I really felt the urge to begin writing my short story for Intermediate Fiction before I went to bed. I have to send out my story Friday so it was important to start on it. I was adapting an idea from something I had written a few pages of over the summer, but I didn’t use any of those pages. Instead I took inspiration from there, but started fresh. Though perhaps it was the looming deadline that motivated me initially, I think it was the writing that kept me staying up. The words were just flowing; whether or not they are any good, I will leave to be determined later.

Finally, homework complete and story started, I was ready to go to bed.

Once I was wrapped up in my blanket, my mind started racing. I had so many ideas for how I wanted the story to play out, and I could’ve cranked out many pages more—even finished a rough, rough draft of the story, if I had the time. Unfortunately I had reached my tired, loopy stage, and I had to wake up fairly early today. Some of those wispy ideas are surely lost, but I did manage to turn on the light, stumble over to my desk, and scribble out some prose. In the end, I didn’t get to bed until 2, which was later than I had anticipated.

Moments like those are a good reminder of why I’m studying at Susquehanna in the first place. While my schedule is going to be kept full with all of my classes, with my Sophomore Essay, with organizations and chapel services and friends, I came to college as writer. I came to college to study my passion. I came to college to hone my skills so I can better write stories that I love, stories that are in me, stories that I think should be told. It’s easy to forget about that when I’m caught up in other stresses.

Obviously I can’t neglect everything else to sit around my dorm room and pound the keys on my laptop all day. Nightly writing sessions at such a late hour, for the sake of my health and sanity, have to be a no-go.  Even if I don’t have all the time in the world, though, I do have to make the time, sometime—not only because my classes require it, but because I love it.

Scheduling for Sophomore Year!

Here at SU, we're already gearing up for fall 2011.  Students' mailboxes were recently filled with papers of all the classes offered not only next semester, but spring as well; this way students can plan their entire 2011-2012 academic year.  I've already endeavored to make a tentative schedule. 

Before I register for my classes, I need to get my minor declared, Religion, so I can have a better chance of getting into the religion courses I want.  Declaring a minor basically consists of getting a form and having your advisor and the head of the minor's department sign a piece of paper.

Deciding on courses can be somewhat tricky.  There are a lot of balls up in the air, so to speak. Requirements for one's major.  Requirements for a minor.  Requirements for the Central Curriculum, or what other schools might term general ed. classes.  This is why the degree audit is particularly helpful.  A degree audit basically tells you what requirements you have fulfilled (or are currently working towards fulfilling) and what you still have left to do; it also lists the courses that apply to each requirement.  Many courses knock out multiple requirements so there's a certain amount of strategy involved in planning a schedule that is, in some regards, efficient as well as interesting for yourself. 

For the fall, I plan on taking a course for my Honors program, probably Thought & the Natural Sciences, which explores the history and philosophy of science. This would also take care of my science class.  Each SU student needs to take one science with a lab component; admittedly, this fills with me some dread.  Also for the Honors program, I need to do a Sophomore Essay, which could happen in the fall or spring depending on the availability of faculty sponsors.  I've already talked about my idea--representation of faith in young adult literature and whether it adequately addresses the spiritual needs of teens--and now I just need to find a faculty member who is interested in my idea and has a helpful expertise, as well as the time to work with me. Dr. Winans, who conducts the Sophomore Essay class, has already been great with suggesting some names to me.

In the fall, I also want to take English Writing & Grammar and Intermediate Fiction.  Both of these go towards my Creative Writing major.  I'm especially psyched to get back to fiction. My other course would be The Hebrew Bible, which contributes to more than one Central Curriculum requirement, my Honors minor, and my Religion  minor.  That's getting a lot out of one class so I suppose you could say that's a strategic choice, but I also am very much interested in the subject matter.

It's very strange to me that I already have Spring 2012 planned out as well--though very, very tentatively.  Right now, that schedule would consist of Aesthetics & Interpretation, a course required for Creative Writing majors that I've heard is quite difficult, Introduction to Poetry, Intro to Asian Religions, and...okay, well one other class that is totally slipping my mind right now.   

It feels good to have these ideas of what next year will be like.  I'm sure it'll feel even better once my fall schedule is actually settled!

Only 4 Years! Then Onto Careers!

This year is zooming past.  Friday I leave for Spring Break.  I’ll return to basically half a semester more of being a freshman.  This year has gone by so quickly, especially in comparison to my turtle-slow senior year.   Turtle in molasses, with a dumbbell on its back, slow. 

As a worrier who often looks to the future, this has me thinking along these lines: Freshman year is almost over and then I’ll be a sophomore and then I’ll be gone for a semester in Europe and then I’ll have one semester at SU as a junior and then it’ll be my final year and I’ll be a senior and then I’ll be in the real world  and college will be over!  (Yes, that sentence was intentionally crazy).    

It shouldn’t be surprising that I’ve been thinking about careers lately, even if I have time to spare.   

I came into college very decided on my major and somewhat decided on my career path.  I want to be a novelist, particularly a YA novelist, and I don’t foresee that changing, but I need another career to rely on for a living, unless I am blessed with exactly the right set of circumstances.  Upon entering college I thought I knew what I wanted that career to be—an editor, maybe in children’s publishing.  I was pretty much set on getting an Editing & Publishing minor.  Progressively, the minor and career path thrill me less and less. I am far from ruling out publishing and might pursue an internship in that field down the line, but lately I’ve been considering becoming a librarian. 

I volunteered in a library all throughout high school, and I loved it, but for some reason, I never thought about it as a career all too seriously.  I didn’t think I was communicative or outgoing enough for the position, though I think college has given me more faith in myself in those regards. 

The more I contemplate, the more I love libraries as institutions and the more I believe that they have the power to effect change.  In Applied Biblical Ethics, at an InterVarsity conference I attended, and other aspects of my religious life on campus, my attention keeps being brought back to poverty.  In Biblical Ethics, especially, we’ve discussed how poverty, usually on the global scale, cannot just be addressed by charity, but by larger social institutions and structures—by the way in which our world works.  Improving literacy, whether globally or in the U.S., is key to educational success, and opening up doors to education for someone is key to helping them exit that cycle of poverty.  

I think libraries can be so influential if they assist in instilling a love of reading or in giving someone the means to nurture that love, especially someone who would otherwise not be able to do so.   I could often make purchases at a bookstore when I was younger.  This is not the case for so many.  Libraries provide other great resources of well.  Even in my middle class suburban area, I know a lot of patrons where I volunteered relied on the library for internet and computer access, greatly important for job searches.   

Particularly, I am thinking about being a children’s and young adult librarian because I love those books and would love to help that age group.  However, I don’t think I’d like to be a school librarian but would prefer a public library setting.   

Being a librarian would eventually mean going to grad school to get a MLS, Master’s in Library Science.  This definitely freaks me out.  In the beginning of the year, I told people that I would not go to grad school.  4 years was enough for me, thank you very much.  And how would I afford it?  But I am, I’ll admit, opening up to the idea, especially of working for a few years and then going for it online. 

Maybe by my senior year, these four years will have seemed slow (though I doubt it), and maybe I will have a completely different life plan worked out (more likely), but I’m glad I have a place to record these thoughts, so I can see how I opened myself to new possibilities and how that has allowed me to evolve. 

Literature Conference

Update: it went fairly well; here's a program!

Coming up at SU on February 21st is the annual Undergraduate Literature and Creative Writing Conference.  The theme is Literature and Creativity in the Digital Age.  I will be reading my short story "Routine" at this conference during a panel titled Literature and Gender 1.  I have never been a part of an academic conference before, so this will definitely be a first for me!

In an earlier post I talked a little about the conference and also about the story I'm reading.  It's titled "Routine," and I wrote it in Dr. Bailey's Intro to Fiction course last semester.  It's about a couple who meet on Halloween their freshman year of college.  The two characters, Belinda and Cyrus, are dramatically different.  Cyrus spent his Halloween drinking, then being offended by frat boys who treat creativity as a one night stand; Belinda is alone in her dorm room typing up an essay on The Fountainhead, dressed in costume, just to be festive.  And of course, in that story-like way, they have this whole opposites attract thing going on and fall for each other.  The story then takes us through multiple Halloweens with them and shows the decay of their relationship.

In that previous post, I also mentioned how nervous I was when I first received the program and found out I'd be reading during a panel on gender.  I'm still sort of scared that people will call me out for stereotypical gender roles--yes, the woman does want to get married, and yes, the guy is just terrible at commitment--and yet, I don't think I'm actually embarrassed by the role gender plays in my story.  The story may look at gender in a conventional way, but I don't think unconventional must always be preferred to conventional, if that makes any sense.   In attempts to combat gender stereotyping, and provide strong female role models, there's been an influx of sassy, spunky, snarky independent girls in books (specifically in my beloved YA genre)--and that's great, really.  But that is not representative of all girls.  Not every girl breaks the mold.  Some fall into it.  Some are domestic, and some are concerned with romance, and some are timid, and some are weak, and girls who fall into any of these traits aren't any less interesting to me just because those traits line up with some sort of female archetype.  Not if they are treated as complex, flawed people.  In Belinda, I wrote a character with whom I can relate, and I don't think that would be the case if I forced her into someone less stereotypical for her gender.

Thinking about being on this panel has provoked some thought in me, obviously.  I am hoping that it somehow manages to be thought provoking, in some way, to others.

Megan Tackles Memoir

Generally, all Creative Writing majors are supposed to take Intro to Creative Nonfiction their freshman year.   It’s been very interesting to see how some of my friends and I are taking to this genre with which we are not necessarily experienced.  Some are quite enjoying it and thinking that this may be the genre they’ll concentrate on in upcoming years.  Some—ahem, me—are struggling with it.                                                            

I posted earlier about writing my memoir piece and the vulnerability it entailed.  Pouring my soul onto the paper—that was hard.  And now, the prospect of rewriting it so it’s suitable to be workshopped next week—that’s even harder.   I feel as if I’ve already offered up so much of myself on paper already, and I have this kind of reluctance to give up any more.

Obviously, memoir writing involves a lot of self reflection.  I think of myself as a very reflective person, but I’m finding it difficult to pinpoints moments, or scenes, that will showcase how I’ve become the way I am, at least in certain regards.   I feel as if some of it I can’t explain; such-and-such trait is just in my nature.          

Memoir writing also involves more than reflecting; it requires reimagining.  All memoirs take a certain amount of liberty.  For instance, few people remember dialogue word-for-word from ten years ago, but dialogue is sometimes necessary in a memoir.  I am having trouble giving myself that sort of leeway.  I am a perfectionist, and I suppose that translates into an unreasonable desire for authenticity.                                      

The other issue for me is that I’m not a very visual person.   Important memories I don’t remember in a sensory way, but an emotional way.  I can easily access what I was feeling and what that moment meant to me, but I need more than that.  I need to paint pictures in the minds of my readers.   Struggles like this have made it difficult for me to write a memoir that reads like a story, rather than just my ramblings on life.

Something I’m worried about is that people in my class will judge my creative nonfiction as being representative of my writing skill.  I think that my fiction is a lot better, and I am pretty certain it is the genre I will pursue during my SU education.                                                                                     

There must be some benefit, though, from all of this.  Being able to confront my weaknesses through an unfamiliar genre will have to strengthen me in a way that can hopefully translate to my fiction.  In a way, it’s humbling.  And it also confirms my passion for fiction.  Plus, who knows?  I could have fallen in love with creative nonfiction.  Theoretically, I still can.

Theoretically, I might even fall in love with Poetry whenever it comes time to take that intro course.  I could end up saying goodbye to novels and fiction and dedicate myself solely to an art which, previously, I saved only for dabbling. 

I must admit, though, I'm not seeing this as likely.