I'm Megan, a senior at Susquehanna University. My hope is that this blog will cover my four years here, from the firsts to the lasts.

"
In college, you learn how to learn. Four years is not too much time to spend at that." - Mary Oliver

Monday, January 31, 2011

Looking Forward: Living Arrangements for Next Year

As an incoming freshman, your fate is fairly limited when it comes to living arrangements.   I was blessed to be able to connect with a friend I’d made at a summer writing workshop.  We requested each other as roommates.  We were also able to request Hassinger Hall.  Though we knew it had smaller dorm rooms than some of our other options, its reputation fit us best.  All in all, I went into my first day less blind than many who were plopped into a random residence hall with a random roommate whose interests and personality could be far from compatible with their own. 

Deciding living arrangements for the upcoming year, however, has a lot more choice involved.

A singular roommate is not all that must be considered.   I have a whole group of friends, and all of us must work out who is living with who, and who is living by who, and where it is we’re going to live.  Nobody really cared about my choice of living arrangements coming into this year, besides my roommate and of course my interested parents, but now there’s a bit more to juggle.  What I and my friends pick will impact each other and will contribute to the shaping of our sophomore years. 

Personally, I like West Village a lot for the kitchens and the layout with the common area.   I stayed there during my second summer that I attended a writing workshop and was very impressed, though the toilets flush scarily loud.  However, I would really like to live in Seibert, though I’ve yet to go inside any of its dorm rooms.  I suppose I’ve fallen for its charm.  Just as I’ve always been impressed with the cuteness of Hassinger Hall, I’ve always appreciated the beauty of Seibert, which happens to be a historical landmark.  Additionally, the student rooms have carpeting.  And I stumbled upon the atrium lounge when I got lost once (yes, I am an embarrassing freshman) and it just looked so cool.  At the same time, I shouldn’t limit myself to these options because I haven’t even stepped into some of the other residences. 

As I look to this future, I’m aware of how much I’ll miss Hass.  Living there comes with ups and downs, like any place does.  One major down: the lengthy treks to the campus center, Deg.  No matter any downs though, even those to come, it’s still sad that I’ll never be able to experience this particular environment ever again—the environment of my (so far) really awesome first year of college.


Applied Biblical Ethics: My First Action Assignment

This semester I am taking my first Religion course at SU, Applied Biblical Ethics with Dr. Karla Bohmbach.  I am very excited to see how this class goes because I am seriously considering adding a religion minor.  One aspect of this class, Action Assignments, has proved very interesting thus far.  These assignments take the ethics we discuss in class out of the theoretical realm and make the "applied" in the course title relevant. 

So far we’ve only done one Action Assignment, and it was this: for a 24-hour period, follow the commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” as closely as you can.  We then had to turn in reflections about our experience.

This is harder than it might seem.  First off, we were left to interpret what exactly it means to love someone in this context.  What does that entail?  Good feelings, friendliness, charity?  A way of thought?  A manner of acting?  And who is our neighbor?  Every person we encounter?  Simply every person? 

I hadn’t really taken time to consider what “as yourself” meant, so when it became a subject of class discussion, it greatly interested me.  Someone found that it was a bigger commitment to love when she focused less on "as yourself" and more on as God loves us.  Others questioned whether “as yourself” was even sound; one might not want to be loved in the way that another person loves their own self.  Dr. Bohmbach brought up that some scholars view loving your neighbor as yourself in this way: we love ourselves though there are things we don’t like about ourselves, and we must extend that love to others, though there may be aspects of them we don’t like. 

Beyond all this interpretation and definition is the matter of actually following through with the commandment.

And that’s hard. 

It’s hard not to slip into gossip or speaking poorly of someone behind their back.  It’s even harder when not doing harm, not hurting someone isn’t a big enough goal, but actively loving others is, even if those others are people you haven’t gotten along with in the past.  It’s even harder when love means stepping out of your comfort zone.   I believe in this commandment and Jesus and love, but I was not a success that day, except for in one respect.  I’ve always found humanity flawed, but I realized, then, the extent of that flaw within me. 

I hope that this course will continue to inspire serious reflection and assist me in enacting biblical ethics in my own life.  No matter one's views, this seems like a class that will challenge one's worldview and ethical guidelines.   

Friday, January 28, 2011

Writing and Vulnerability

This semester I am taking Introduction to Creative Nonfiction with Dr. Glen Retief.  Although I maintain this blog, have kept journals, and have written for my high school newspaper and Susquehanna Currents, creative nonfiction is a much different beast than those things.  Currently, our class is in the memoir unit.  Our assigned exercise was to recreate a memory in 1 to 3 pages.  As I worked on this yesterday, I certainly—and deeply—felt that different. 

The moments I feel most drawn to write about are inevitably the most embarrassing for me.  Putting them on the page, with the intention of later sharing them, requires a vulnerability with which I’m not very familiar.  Sure, vulnerability is something I can channel into my preferred genre of choice, fiction, but it’s disguised.   At the end of the day, the story is about my characters.  The emotions belong to them, even if they were taken from mine.  Saying This is my lifeThis is me.  These are my feelings is a vulnerability of another variety.  One that’s raw and fresh.    

There is basically no way the subject of my scene will ever find out about it.  After all, it’s just an exercise!  The topic for my memoir is not even firmly decided yet.  And still, I ask myself these questions: What if someone from my high school got their hands on this?  They’d know who I was writing about, wouldn’t they?  It would be so clear, even if I changed names.  And while I don’t believe I paint this person in a negative light, it would certainly change their perception of me.   That paranoid has potential to be paralyzing.   

Also, I’m normally not afraid of sharing my work.  Rip apart my words!  Please!  But sharing myself—again, a totally different beast.   I know that when it comes to workshops, the class will be there to aid and critique my writing, not critique my life, but that doesn’t mean there’s a fear that while they talk about structure and characterizations, they’re internally ripping to shreds my life, personality, and choices. 

All of this, I suppose, is why there is a Confidentiality Policy instated for the course.   I now appreciate its importance. 

In the end, fear and awkwardness were set aside, and I wrote the required scene.  I also began feeling attracted to other instances of my life that could relate so well to this moment.  In my brain, this exercise to prepare for memoir was turning into a memoir.  And though I’ve been approaching Nonfiction with a certain dose of hesitance, I’ll admit, I even had some fun toying with these prospects. 

The direction I think I can take this in will only mean more vulnerability.  More recent wounds and revelations.  More potential humiliation if somehow my words were unleashed, getting back to the sources of their inspiration. 

When I get to the end of this course, I hope that I can say I didn’t hold back.  I hope that fighting off those feelings and submerging myself in vulnerability will be worth the results. 

Study Abroad--Further Consideration

I spent a previous post considering my options for study abroad, but I’ve felt inclined to come back to the issue.  In one sense,this may be repetitive, but I think it also reflects reality.  It’s an issue that continues to come up in my thoughts and conversation among friends.

Previously, I considered Budapest or Prague, but new options seem to keep presenting themselves for more serious consideration.

For example, I hadn’t really considered the Netherlands, but now I’m looking at it as a very viable option, specifically Leiden.  The Netherlands seems like it would be a place of significantly different culture.   I would have to do some work on learning another language, Dutch.  The program I’m looking at has an intensive, two-week Dutch course upon arrival.  From the sounds of it, however, most people speak English. 

Language barriers have definitely been a consideration of mine.  Out of curiosity, as well hoping to stumble upon inspiration for my own blog, I’ve examined blogs of Susquehanna study away students.  These are linked to from the SU website.  While all the experiences seem positive, I’ll have to admit I was scared off some locations by hearing how overwhelming the language barriers are.  Taking that chance to leave Susquehanna for a whole semester will be overwhelming enough without struggling so much in my interactions.

Even with so many exciting options, there’s this nagging fear of going away for a semester.  It makes me wonder if I really should be looking at short programs more carefully.  I don’t want to miss what’s going on at SU!  Though I guess it’s not really missing as much as it is exchanging.  While I may not get a semester’s worth of Selinsgrove memories with my friends here, I will get a semester of memories elsewhere.

A semester of European memories.  A semester of memories in the Netherlands, perhaps. 

Monday, January 24, 2011

Posters: A Dorm Room Essential


A blurry picture of my poster
At the beginning of the year, my dorm room was a bit disgraceful, lacking in something quintessential and collegiate—posters.   

I didn’t happen upon any that struck me as just right, and I was very much set on finding the perfect posters.  Not any cliché Audrey Hepburn/Marilyn Monroe/James Dean kind of thing.  Something representative of me, though so representative that, say, my Jonas Brothers interest might scare away potential friends.  I couldn't even find something when the poster fair came to SU.       
On a weekend shopping trek, I finally came across what was to be my First College Poster—a Disney Princess poster from WalMart.  One of the jokes among my friends, particularly earlier in the year, was that I can be a Disney Princess sometimes, so obviously I felt called to it.  Even now, many discussions come back to Disney.  My friend Lindsey and I spent a whole lunch rehashing what Disney characters all our friends would be.  I’m Snow White, by the way.  Accidentally, I grabbed a different Disney Princess poster than the one I saw on the rack, but luckily I ended up preferring the one I purchased. 

I didn’t get my next poster until Winter Break.  It’s a Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows poster and far from perfect.  I often lament how it minimizes Ron Weasley, who is so much more important than the movies and commercials would lead one to believe.  Still, it’s a great representation of my interests.  At heart, and truthfully at the surface, I am quite the Harry Potter fangirl.

Also featured on my walls are a colored-in princess, deemed Princess Megan, from a Saturday afternoon early in the year, spent with coloring books and a few friends in the lounge.  My tack board features a photo of Darren Criss, printed out for me some months ago by my lovely roommate Sarah.  If you’re not in the know (but if you know me, I’m sure you are), Darren Criss is the star of YouTube hits A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel and is a relatively new cast member of Glee.   Additionally, I have a drawing with my name on it from one of my best friends at home.  
Typing up this post, it really is clear to me that your walls can reveal a lot about you.

Unfortunately, I don’t have enough wall space to reveal quite as much as I might like.  One of the things about Hass is that the rooms vary in size.  My room is on the smaller, a.k.a. smallest, side and requires bunked beds for space, which means sacrificing room for posters.  Other rooms in Hass provide ample opportunity for self expression, however.  For example, my friends Lindsey and Alexis seem to have posters on every inch of wall.  Their poster count must dwarf my room’s dinky total of two.  However, I think it’s just enough to let people know what I am: a Harry Potter loving princess.
Okay, well, maybe that’s not me exactly
But that must describe some part of me, at least. 

Literary Journalism

For Introduction to Creative Nonfiction, I have to do a literary journalism piece. Basically, literary journalism asks the writer to immerse him or herself in an unfamiliar situation, culture, or person, and go from there. Today, 1:45 to be exact, I have a conference with my professor, Dr. Retief, to go over my ideas. Brainstorming has spawned a lot of hilarity (speed dating was considered seriously for a millisecond), but these are the ideas that I’ll probably be presenting:

My first option would be exploring Unitarianism. Faith is very important to me, and I want to explore that in my writing. It would be interesting for me to really examine a religious perspective that is different from my own. I think this could be especially informative because, though I have basic background knowledge, I admittedly lack full understanding. One of my best friends from home is a Unitarian, and I should be able to go to church with her over Spring Break.

Another option might be to familiarize myself with Quakers. A friend from home is a Quaker, and I can ask if I can attend a Meeting with her over break. I also know SU has a Quaker group on campus. I believe they worship on Sundays at 11:00 so, in that aspect, this option would be pretty easy to work into my schedule.

A very different route, but probably even more unfamiliar to me, would be doing something with animals. I’ve considered events like a dog show or a pet expo. My family has always done terribly with pets, and individually I’ve always done terribly with animals, specifically dogs. Something I just found that might fit this would be attending PawsAbilities 2011 at the Farm Show Complex in Harrisburg, which includes events like a Cutest Dog Contest and Dog Olympics.

Any way I choose to take this project, and I’m sure Dr. Retief will provide some guidance regarding that decision, there will be a certain amount of risk-taking involved. I have to interview people for my Assistantship at Susquehanna Currents, and I’ve interviewed in the past, so I should have those skills. It’s the immersing part, though, that can be a bit frightening for someone who can be quite reserved at first.

I’ll admit to a certain amount of anxiety. But hopefully a good piece, or the framework for one, will come out of whatever experience I have.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Things I Miss About High School: Snow Days

I've made a few short posts about things I've learned in college. I was thinking I might also want to share what I miss about high school! Though college is great, and I prefer it to high school by far, on occasion there are some things you can’t help but miss about the old days, or you know, just living at home.

The first being snow days! As I sit here writing, the campus is snow-covered and very, very pretty. Alas, this does not give me a reprieve from class, as it possibly would have back in high school. Earlier this week I had the misfortune of scrolling through Facebook to find that all of my high school friends had gotten off school, and it’s easy to be bitter. Though we may not have to drive or endure bus rides to get to our destination, walking across campus in the bitter cold is its own form of treachery, isn’t it? Actually (unfortunately?), the school seems to do a pretty great job at clearing the walkways. Then again, high school students normally don’t get canceled classes which can be out of the blue and oh-so-beautiful.

School Size

I know many people who were, or still are, desperate to go to big school. Colleges of Susquehanna’s size I’ve often heard derided as too small. Perhaps my feelings will change senior year if I know just about everybody in my class (as a freshman, I’m far from that), but for now, I am very thankful for the size of Susquehanna’s institution. For me, it’s a perfect fit.

This size impacts a lot of different facets of Susquehanna. One of these is housing. I live in the smallest residence hall for freshmen, Hassinger Hall, and if you couldn’t already tell through my earlier posts, I absolutely love it! The floors in Hass are divided into wings by gender. I know the names of everybody who lives on my floor, am pretty friendly with all the girls in my wing, and have gotten my core of Susquehanna friends there.

It’s hard for me to imagine living in one of the bigger freshman dorms, much less a freshman dorm at a large university. One of my best friends from home lives in a building that is, I believe, 23 floors. She must endure long waits for the elevator and lines for signing in with building security.

Another area that’s obviously affected is class size. This semester, my Tuesday/Thursday classes, Applied Biblical Ethics and Principles of Sociology, are significantly bigger than my Monday/Wednesday/Friday ones, Introduction to Creative Nonfiction and Thought & Civilization. The first is a workshop class with about 16 people. The latter has a few less than that. The great thing is that even my “big” classes must be around 30-something people. This pales in comparison to big classes at other school where hundreds of students are crowded into a lecture hall, basically going anonymous to their classmates and professors.

Also, I like that the campus is small enough that I will see people I meet around school! For example, one of the activities I’m involved in is InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. At a bigger school I might not see people I know from that activity around campus, unless I specifically made plans with them, but here it’s very likely I might see someone during my everyday routine and say hi in passing.

For me, a smaller school has always been my ideal, and I’ve been very grateful to find that what I suspected would suit me actually does. It may not be for everyone, but I still feel that as if people who write off smaller schools should definitely consider their virtues, especially for ease in adjusting to the college experience.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Spring in Swing

At least in regards to the Spring Semester--the weather can get here anytime! 

On Monday was my first class of 201, Introduction to Creative Nonfiction with Dr. Retief.  This happens to be in the same classroom as my fiction class last semester, as well as at the same time, 1:45 to 2:50.  It’ll be interesting to see how I end up feeling about nonfiction as a genre.  Though I love writing generally, I’m head over heels for fiction, and I don’t suspect that will change. 

However, I have been thinking a lot in terms of Hmm, that might be something to write about in nonfiction, especially after we did a free write on the topic, “I want to write about…”  The first thing I must decide on is a topic for the subgenre literary journalism, sometimes known as immersive journalism.  Rather than looking back at our experiences, this assignment calls us to go out and experience something so we can write about it.  I am leaning towards asking one of my best friends if I can attend her Unitarian church with her for a Sunday.  It would be interesting because Unitarianism is something I’ve never quite understood so I believe I would learn a lot.  Also, faith and religion are topics I’m very interested in and for which I have a lot of passion, so I’m excited that this might be a way to incorporate those in my writing.

My next class was Thought & Civilization, a course for the Honors Program that will focus on Romantic Novels.   Dr. Hubbell seems very keen to have us not only participate but direct discussion, which I’ve always appreciated in literature courses.  I also feel like this will be great motivation to finish books I might otherwise not have the stamina to complete.  For example, I read a lot of Emma by Jane Austen this summer but let other quicker reads stop me from finishing.  Now I’ll have to, seeing as it’s our first novel to read!

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I also have two classes.  At 10 a.m. I have Applied Biblical Ethics.  Our professor actually wasn’t there for that first class, since she had to be out of town, but I’m interested in the subject matter so I’m still feeling pretty good about that course.  Then I have a bit of a gap in my schedule (which I should use for homework, though I find it so hard to focus on it in the middle of the day) until Principles of Sociology at 2:25.  I took a semester of Sociology my senior year of high school.  It was a fairly shallow overview, but I enjoyed it, so I’m excited to see what I think of it at the college level.  Also, the professor, adjunct faculty member Anne Hauser, made it seem like the class is going to be fun; that’s always a positive. 

Even more so than actually going to class, homework makes me feel like I’ve been back longer than a few days.  Already I was up late doing reading, though this can probably be attributed to having a homework party in the lounge that, while fun and possibly my idea, distracted me to no end. 

And of course, making this semester seem even more in swing is that my friends and I are back to our normal selves and our normal silliness.  That apparently means me having very poor volume control as I laugh and talk excitedly at Benny’s.   I suppose some things just don’t change with a new semester.    

Monday, January 17, 2011

Spring Semester

Today is the first day of the Spring Semester, and in some ways, it is surreal being back.  Winter Break was relaxing, but as I had feared, boring after a while.  Post-Christmas and especially Post-New Years, I was itching to return to Susquehanna.  I couldn't wait until I was back in Hassinger Hall again, with friends and fun available just a few doors down the hall.  Admittedly, I'm not as excited to start classes.  The feeling is more anxious than anything else, with a mix of surprise.  My thoughts are something along the lines of: What, I'm actually back, what, I have classes tomorrow, wait, what, now I have classes today, I have class in less than an hour and a half, what, when did this occur?!  All in all, I am glad to be back, but it's strange adjusting to a new routine, when I was so well-adjusted to my old one.  Speaking of adjusting, I also need to fix my sleep patterns--break was spent staying up and waking up late.  To my surprise, I handled waking up for work today fairly well. 

Whether I'm ready or not, the semester is here, and these are some of the things I'm hoping to accomplish the second half of the year:

1)  Keep up with my New Year's resolution.
2)  Write more often, and not just for my Intro to Nonfiction class.
3)  Read more often, and again, not just for class.
4)  Enlarge my social circle at Susquehanna.  Meet new people!  Make new friendships!
5)  Get involved in new activities, like Alpha Phi Omega, the service fraternity, or a reading board for a literary magazine.
6)  Procrastinate less.
7)  Study more.
8)  Cut down on my addition--fries!  

The last three seem especially difficult so we'll have to see how they go.  Hopefully not the way of my resolution at the beginning of the year to eat breakfast everyday (it's been such a rare event that one of the few times I had breakfast at Benny's, I felt compelled to take a picture with my cell phone).

Other things I'm looking forward to this semester are experiencing a schedule that was completely picked out by myself and having people visit me.  I live a bit over an hour away so two of my friends from high school will be visiting me next month.  My brother, who is twenty-five, will also be visiting me in February.  I can't wait to give them a peak at my life here at SU!